Page 73 of Taste of Surrender
You know you don’t have to be there. I don’t want to cause you any more problems
We had agreed to talk to Jesse together, and I wasn’t going to let Malachi shoulder the burden alone.
We’re in this together. I want to be with you
OK. Thank you.
A couple of hours later,I heard Jesse’s bedroom door open. I hopped out of bed and caught up with him in the hallway.
“Are you leaving for sound check?” I asked.
He continued down the stairs, not answering me.
“I’m riding with you.”
He spun around. “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.” He could be mad all he wanted, but I wanted to be there for Malachi and my brother even though he didn’t want me around.
“I’m not ready to see you and Malachi together. It’ll just piss me off more.”
“Too bad. You guys need to figure your shit out. You still have to perform together tonight.”
“Unlike Mal”—he pointed at himself—“I actually give a shit about the band and won’t allow my actions to fuck up everything we’ve worked so hard for. But if you’re worried about your boyfriend, I’m leaving in two minutes.”
We drove to the theater in silence. I was grateful he let me tag along so I didn’t have to order a ride, and I didn’t want to risk saying anything that might set him off again. All I could do was hope he would realize that no matter how angry he was at us for what we had done, it wasn’t worth losing a twenty-year-long friendship with his best friend.
22
MALACHI
I wasn’tsure if Jesse was going to show up for sound check. To be honest, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he didn’t. I also thought he might take a swing at me again. I wouldn’t blame him because I knew he didn’t have a problem with my sexuality. Based on what he’d said at the office, his issue was that I had been messing around with his brother behind his back. Dating your best friend’s sibling always had a forbidden aspect, and a part of me worried that if things between Jasper and me didn’t last, it would cause tension between me and Jesse.
I hated to think about me and Jasper not working out, but it wasn’t like I could see into the future. What would happen after the tour? He had said he would be going back to Boston, so had he not even thought about the possibility of moving to LA to be with me? Would he even want to move to LA? Would we have a long-distance relationship? What about the next tour? Would he be our chef again? The situation was mired in so many variables.
In order to keep my bisexuality a secret and prevent upsetting Jesse unnecessarily before Jasper and I were sureabout our relationship, it had been easier to not tell my best friend what was going on between me and his little brother.
But now he knew and was pissed.
Before arriving at the venue, I called my parents to talk about the photo that was circulating. They took the news that I was bisexual very well and when they learned I was dating Jasper, they were elated. They didn’t press for more details, knowing I had sound check to get to, but it felt good knowing they were happy for me.
I walked into the Spanish-style theater on Hollywood Boulevard and saw the stage crew setting up and adjusting the lights and sound equipment. Elliott, Silas, and Savannah were chatting near the side of the stage, laughing about something. I spotted Jesse standing with his back to me, hands shoved into his pockets. He was talking to the members of Midnight Thunder, but glanced over his shoulder when I entered. Our eyes met for a brief second before he turned back, clearly not wanting to talk to me.
As I moved toward Elliott and the others, Jasper walked toward me, and my heart smiled at the sight of him. He reached me in a few quick strides and pulled me into a brief but tight hug.
“Hey, you okay?” he whispered into my ear.
“Better now,” I replied, giving him a small smile as we pulled apart.
“The car ride was awkward.” He examined my face as though he was looking for the spot where Jesse had hit me. Last I’d checked, there was nothing there yet.
“I hate this,” I admitted.
“He has to come around, right? You guys have to play together.”
“I hope so, but we could probably manage if he doesn’t.”
Jasper shook his head. “I don’t like that.”
