Page 39 of Addicted to You
“You know this already, but I’ll be with you twenty-four-seven. That means Boston, New York, LA. Wherever you go, I go.”
He nodded, adjusting the strap of his backpack. “Right. I kinda figured that.”
“And even though I’m dating your sister, everything will stay confidential and I won’t share anything with Britt or your family or anyone for that matter. But you need to be upfront with me about anything that might be a challenge. If something feels off, tell me.”
He glanced at me. “Like what?”
“Like if you’re feeling restless. If something’s stressing you out. If you’re struggling with cravings, even if you think it’s not a big deal.” I paused, letting that sink in. “My job isn’t just to make sure you don’t use in the moment. It’s to help you maintain your sobriety, to make sure you don’t get into situations that could set you back.”
His jaw tightened, but he nodded again. “I get it.”
“Being on tour will be a little difficult because we won’t be able to have a normal routine, but I’ll figure out the towns where we can go to meetings. And no matter what, we need honest communication. I can’t do my job if you hide anything from me.”
Silas sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I hear you.”
We stepped forward in line, handing over our IDs before moving to the conveyor belt. Silas kicked off his shoes and tossed his backpack into a bin. “I can work with that.”
“Good,” I replied.
I knew things with Silas were going to be different from other clients, but I had a feelingeverythingwas about to change.
15
Silas
When we arrivedat Cash and Britt’s apartment, my sister wasn’t home. I’d expected her to pick us up at the airport, but instead, Cash had his truck in the long-term parking lot.
He opened the door to their guest bedroom, and I stepped inside. “I know it’s small, but it should work for a couple of days. There’s also a guest bathroom across the hall.”
The room was about a quarter the size of my bedroom in LA and even smaller than the one I’d had at rehab, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I was moving in permanently. “This is fine.”
“I’ll give you a few minutes to unpack while I order dinner. Are you good with pizza?”
I nodded. “That’d be great. The facility kept us on a healthy diet, which I need to talk to Jasper about staying on. You’ll meet him later, but he’s Malachi’s boyfriend”—that still sounded odd to me—“and Jesse’s younger brother who also happens to be our chef on the road. He makes the best food you’ll ever eat. But for now, some greasy, cheesy carbs sound damn good.”
“Do you like combination or are you an all-meat guy?”
“Definitely all meat. I need a break from the veggies.” I chuckled.
“You got it. Come meet me in the kitchen when you’re done.”
“It might be a few minutes. I’m supposed to call Rina, so I’m going to do that too, but don’t worry, I’ll leave the door open.”
He smiled. “I know all of this is new for you, and I promise you my intention is not for you to feel like I’m watching your every move. Over time we’ll be increasing the amount of privacy you have. But before we get to that point, we need to keep working on the skills you need to be successful in your recovery.”
Everything he said made sense, and between what one of my therapists had explained to me before I left rehab and my conversations with Cash on the way to Boston, I understood how things were supposed to play out. But it was still odd knowing someone else was essentially overseeing every part of my life for the next several weeks.
“I’m sure I’ll get used to you acting as my shadow in no time.” I chuckled. “And based on our snowboarding trip, I don’t think you’ll annoy me too much.”
“Maybe just a little.” He smirked and walked away.
I pulled out the clothes I’d brought and hung them up. Then, I set out a few of my toiletries in the bathroom. Once that was done, I grabbed my phone and video-called Rina.
“Hey!” she greeted me with a huge grin on her face. “You look good. How are you feeling? How was your flight to Boston?”
I laughed at her rapid-fire questions. “I’m good, and the flight was uneventful. How are you doing? The guys said you were close to finalizing plans for the rest of the tour?”
I still felt guilty for messing up our original schedule, and no matter how many times everyone promised they cared more about me getting help than the concerts, I couldn’t seem to let it go. It was something I had talked about with the therapist at rehab and would likely need to continue working through with my new therapist in LA.
