Page 44 of Addicted to You
“You can’t leave me alone.”
I lifted a shoulder and suggested, “Go take a shower.”
Silas grinned, his expression teasing but somehow still genuine. “You sure? You don’t mind if I get wet?” he asked.
I rolled my eyes, a grin tugging at my lips despite myself. “I’m just saying you’ll feel better. A quick shower will cool you down.”
He tilted his head, considering me for a moment. “I can’t promise I won’t make it a little steamy in there.”
The way his eyes flickered as he said it sent a strange heat creeping up my neck. I spun back to the window to focus on the city skyline instead of the man lounging on the bed.
Hearing the rustling of clothes, I glanced over my shoulder and caught a spark of mischief in his eyes as he grabbed a pair of jeans. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, trying to focus on the affirmations on my phone again. I still had to decide which one would work best for him, perhaps something simple and straightforward, like:I am in control of my choices,or something about his strength:I am stronger than my impulses. As I scrolled, I tried to ignore the sound of running water coming from the bathroom and what he was doing or thinking while he jerked off.
With past clients, I had discussed more about sex and when they could indulge in their desires. But the way Silas was talking to and looking at me, it was almost as though he had wanted me to join him. I told myself it was just guys shooting the shit because, yes, I’d had discussions with friends in the past about sex and masturbation. But those conversations had lacked any feeling of a hidden agenda. Maybe my assumption was because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had sex myself. It felt like ages since Britt and I had been intimate, so maybe my own pent-up frustration was the reason I was having these thoughts.
A few minutes later, Silas came back out, wearing just a towel around his waist. His wet hair was pushed back, and he wore a relaxedlook on his face. He stood in the doorway, eyes locking onto me again.
“Feel better?” I asked.
“Much. You should try it.”
I blew out a breath. “How about instead you give me an answer to my question from earlier?”
Silas raised an eyebrow. “About tonight’s show?”
“Yeah. How are you feeling?”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “I’ll be fine. Just another night of playing drums, right?”
I nodded slowly. “Right.” Then I added, “But I think you should repeat one of these before we go. It might help.”
I walked over and handed him my phone, which displayed the affirmations. He looked it over, but his lips quirked when he saw one of them.
“You sure about this one?” he asked, pointing to the line:I am stronger than any distraction.
“I think it fits.” Though, I wondered if maybe the phrase was better for me than him since my thoughts had been all over the place.
He let out a low chuckle. “If you say so. I’ll give it a try. Maybe it’ll be enough to get me through the night without thinking about what’s missing from my bed. It’s been far too long since I’ve been with a woman.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if he’d ever been with a man, but why in the hell would I want to?
I’d never been with one either.
17
Silas
I endedthe video call with my therapist and took a deep breath. The session had been intense as we dug into my relationships with others, and more specifically, my difficulty trusting people. It was something I’d started to address in rehab, but for some reason, it hit me harder today.
Knowing Cash would be checking on me soon, I got up from the guest bed and walked out to the living room. He was still sitting on the couch, typing on his laptop, just like I’d left him an hour before. My sister was asleep in their room after a long night at the hospital.
I’d been staying in their apartment for almost two weeks, and I’d only managed to see Britt a handful of times. And since Cash and I were leaving for LA soon, I wondered if I’d get a chance to hang out with her the rest of the time I was there.
He glanced up from the screen. “Everything good?”
I dropped onto the other end of the couch. “Therapy was a little rough today.”
He closed his laptop. “That happens. As I’m sure you’ve alreadyexperienced, sometimes you’ll feel great and ready to take on the world when you’re done, and other sessions will leave you with a lot of emotions to work through. I’m not a therapist, but I’m here for whatever you need.”
