Page 60 of Addicted to You
“I am.” I made myself look him in the eyes. “Because I have to. Because you need someone in your corner who isn’t thinking with his dick.”
His mouth parted like he wanted to argue, but instead, he let out a frustrated breath and turned away. “Whatever.”
I wanted to say more, to explain better, but what was there to say? That I was attracted to him? That for a split second, I had let myself imagine what it would be like if things were different? That no matter how much I wanted him, I wasn’t about to risk his sobriety—or my career—over something I had no business wanting in the first place?
Instead, I watched as he grabbed some clothes and headed for the shower. The second the bathroom door shut behind him, I let out a breath.
This was a problem.
And I had no idea how the hell I wasgoing to fix it.
The band wantedto go out, and since we were in Vegas, that meant casinos, expensive drinks, and clubs packed with people. It was an addict’s worst nightmare. I was surprised Silas wanted to join them, but I wasn’t about to stop him. Both of us needed a break from being holed up in a hotel room because it was clear when we were alone, anything could happen.
Rita had reserved a VIP booth for the guys at the nightclub inside the hotel we were staying at. The entire time we were out, Silas barely looked at or spoke to me. It seemed as though he was trying to pretend nothing had happened between us. I supposed that was only fair since I’d told him I was going to do the same, but it still hurt. Why did it hurt? Why did I want to pull him aside and tell him I’d made a mistake and wanted to feel his lips on mine again?
I watched Malachi and Jasper as they kissed and danced together and I felt a pang of jealousy. It would have been easy to blame the feelings on what had gone down with Britt, but it wasn’t my ex I was thinking about or wanting to be on the dance floor with. It was the man next to me who had challenged my sexuality at almost every turn. Or maybe it wasn’t a challenge but an awakening—one I was struggling with.
Would things be different if he wasn’t my client or Britt’s brother? Would I have pushed him away when he kissed me? I wasn’t sure, and there was no way I’d ever know. Maybe me being his sober companion wasn’t right. Maybe I did need to find a replacement.
As we sat in the booth, sipping sodas, I tried to gauge if he wasn’t speaking to or looking at me because of what had happened between us or for some other reason. When his eyes kept scanning the club, never landing on anything for too long, I started to think he had more on his mind than just me.
I leaned in close enough to be heard over the music. “You good?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Just … not feeling this place.”
I didn’t push him on it. I already had an idea of what was going through his head. A place like this, with the booze flowing and the temptation around every corner, wasn’t the safest place for someone fresh out of rehab.
After a few more minutes of him barely engaging with the group, I touched his arm. “You wanna head back to the room?”
“You sure? I mean, if we head back now, it’ll just be us. No one else around and?—”
“I know.” I stood up, nodding toward the door. “Let’s go.”
We said our goodbyes to everyone and then made it up to our room without another word. Once inside, Silas moved toward the window, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, while I stood at the foot of my bed. The quietness of the room was just as awkward as we were, and that needed to change.
“Look, I know there’s only three more weeks left of our contract, but I can find someone to replace me,” I suggested.
He whipped around. “What? Why?”
I tilted my head slightly. “Do you want to keep walking on eggshells around each other?”
Silas let out a breath, his eyes flicking to mine before darting away. “You think leaving will fix anything?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. But I can’t keep pretending nothing happened earlier. And you,” I hesitated. “You’ve barely looked at me since.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Because I don’t know what the fuck to do about it, okay? I kissed you, and I don’t even know why.”
“You don’t?”
He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head. “That’s not what I meant. I kissed you because I wanted to. That’s the problem.”
My heart pounded in my ears, and my skin was too hot suddenly. “And we both liked it.”
“Then why are we even arguing about it?”
“Because.” I swallowed and didn’t elaborate. We both knew we wanted to kiss again, and that damn line was getting blurrier and blurrier.
He took a step forward, then stopped, breathing hard.
