Page 74 of Addicted to You
“I’m right there with you,” he panted.
Ropes of my cum spilled all over his hand and onto his stomach at the same time I felt him shudder beneath me.
It took a few seconds for us to catch our breath, and as I started to lift off of him, I heard him mutter, “Fuck, it gets better every time.” His words were so quiet, I wasn’t sure he meant for me to hear him.
“Let’s go clean up.” I stood and offered a hand to pull him from the bed.
After a quick shower, we climbed into bed, and suddenly, I felt a distance between us. My heart was full of things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the courage to ask him the one thing I wanted, which was for him to stay.
Instead, I rolled over to face him and gently kissed his lips. “What time are you leaving in the morning?”
He frowned. “Early. I’ve already arranged for a car to pick me up at six.”
I glanced at the alarm clock behind him; he’d be gone in less than five hours.
“Will you wake me before you go?”
He gave me a small smile. “Of course.”
The soundof a zipper had my eyes blinking open. Once things came into focus, I saw Cash standing next to the dresser, shoving his wallet and phone into his pocket.
He was leaving.
I climbed out of bed and slipped on my boxers before walking over to him. “I can’t believe it’s already time for you to go.”
“Yeah, I was just about to wake you. My ride should be here in about ten minutes.” He grabbed a piece of paper I hadn’t noticed earlier and held it out for me. “This is a list of NA meetings in every city remaining on tour. You should still try to go to at least one a week, but more won’t hurt either.”
“Thanks.” I took the list from him, hating how business-like the moment felt.
“And if you’re struggling, call your sponsor or therapist,” he added.
“Or you?”
He gave me a tight smile. “You’re always welcome to call me, but I’ll be busy with my new client and might not be able to answer right away, especially during the first couple of weeks.”
I couldn’t imagine going even a day, let alone a couple of weeks, without talking to him.
“Can’t you stay?” I blurted out, unable to stop the words this time. “I’ll tell your agency I need your services for a few more weeks.”
He shook his head. “That won’t work. Someone else is depending on me, and the truth is, you don’t need meanymore. You’ve been putting in the work, and you should be proud of how well you’re doing.”
Of course, I knew he couldn’t stay. Him leaving was always the plan, but that didn’t stop me from hoping he’d want to stick around.
My gaze focused on the blue diamond-patterned carpet beneath my feet. “So that’s it, then?”
He hesitated for a minute. “It sorta has to be.”
I could either accept his answer or be honest with how I was feeling. As he and I had discussed before, trusting someone wasn’t easy for me, but this was Cash. He was likely the only person besides my family and bandmates I could trust not to hurt me.
“I’m not ready,” I said, still unable to meet his eyes.
He tilted my face up, and my eyes focused on his. “Ready for what?”
“To let you go.” I let out a breath. “Maybe we should have talked about what was going on between us sooner, but it was easier to pretend like this day wasn’t hanging over our heads. Are you really ready to walk away?”
“What exactly are you asking me for?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I know I want more than secret hook ups on the road.”
