Page 75 of Addicted to You
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple sliding up and down his throat. “You know things would get a lot more complicated if what we’ve been doing behind closed doors was out in the open.”
“I don’t care about what anyone else thinks?—”
“You might think that now,” he interrupted gently. “You might even believe it, but I’m not sure I’m ready for it. The media would have a field day once they learned you were messing around with your sober companion. I could lose my job. And what happens when your parents find out? Hell, just a few weeks ago, I was dating your sister. This isn’t just about us. There’s a lot of other things to consider.”
His argument made sense, and I hated that he could think rationally when all I wanted to do was jump headfirst without considering the consequences. Just like I always did.
I let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re right. I don’t think I’m ready for any of that. But losing you doesn’t feel right either.”
He pulled me close and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. “You’re not losing me,” he said when he pulled back. “You can call or text me whenever you want. But I do think we both need to figure out what we want while we are apart.”
I nodded because what else could I do?
Cash hefted his backpack onto his shoulder and grabbed the handle of his suitcase. “I’ll miss you,” he admitted before opening the door.
“I’ll miss you too.”
And then he was gone.
30
CASH
I was tryingto act as though leaving Silas to continue his tour without me was just like leaving any other client after our contract was over. But I knew better. Silas wasn’tjust another client, and while I could try to convince myself he was only a guy I had been messing around with, I knew he meant more to me than some friends-with-benefits type of relationship.
It no longer fazed me that he was Britt’s brother or even my client. Hell, I didn’t care that he was a dude. Everything about him was new and unexpected, and I was enjoying it so much that I didn’t want to leave either.
But I had to.
Sitting at the airport, I hovered my thumb over Silas’s name in my contacts, fighting the urge to call him. My flight was boarding in a few minutes, but my mind was stuck on the way he all but begged me to stay.
I’d wanted to stay. Wanted to call my work and tell them anything to have them keep me on with Silas, but I also knew I had my own shitto figure out and Silas didn’t need me anymore. Despite both of us wishing we had more time together, it would have been wrong of me to continue as his sober companion when I would have been doing it with ulterior motives.
Dragging a hand down my face, I let out a slow breath and glanced around the terminal. People were rushing to their gates, standing in line for overpriced coffee, flipping through books they probably wouldn’t finish before their flights landed. It seemed like business as usual. Meanwhile, my brain was caught somewhere between Austin and wherever Silas was.
I could still hear the way he had said he wasn’t ready to let me go. The way he’d looked at me when I opened the door to leave, as though he’d been waiting for me to change my mind. And if I was being honest with myself, I almost had.
As much as I wanted to stay, I didn’t know what that meant for either of us. We had never talked about what had been happening between us, never let ourselves think past the next city, the next hotel room. And now that we were apart, we had no choice but to figure it out.
The boarding call for my flight snapped me out of my thoughts. I grabbed my bag and stood in line to board.
Instead of sending a text to Silas like I wanted, I sent one to Britt:
Hey! My time with your brother has ended and I’m on my way back to Boston. Can I stop by tomorrow to get my stuff? I’ll need to make a few trips to the storage unit I rented
I hadn’t expected to hear from her since she was always busy—at least she had been when we were together, but as I took my seat on the plane and was about to put it in Airplane Mode, a text came through from Britt:
Of course. I’ll be home and can help
Then anotherone from her:
Or you can leave the stuff here. We should talk
Talk? What was there to talk about? Did she somehow know about me and Silas?
What is there to talk about?
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I hate how things ended
