Page 77 of Addicted to You
Her face tightened. “So that’s it? I made a mistake, and you’re just done?”
Silence stretched between us. I had nothing left to say, and Britt looked like she was trying to figure out if she had anything left to fight for.
“Yep,” I said after a few beats.
“Okay, well, let me know if you need my help.”
I walked to the guest room that had my boxes and grabbed one and the keys to my truck.
Over the next half-hour, I loaded up my Silverado and went to thestorage place to unload it. I made a few trips until everything was where it belonged, then took the key to the apartment off my key ring and handed it to Britt.
“Take care of yourself,” I said.
Her lips parted, like she wanted to say something, but she only gave me a tight smile.
The finality of our relationship wasn’t the gut-wrenching loss I would’ve expected. I just felt done. though I knew if things with Silas and me continued, I’d have to face Britt again. But that was a problem for another day.
31
Silas
Two and a halfweeks had passed since Cash had left, and the pain in my chest hadn’t let up, which, quite frankly, surprised me. I’d never experienced the desire to spend every second with another person before and not having him around made me feel as though I was missing a vital part of myself. I’d also never had anyone come into my life and make me question everything—my sexuality, my lifestyle, my outlook on relationships, and my future.
As we traveled along the highway on our way to Pittsburgh, I couldn’t stop myself from glancing at his empty bunk, wishing he was still with me. I was so caught up in my own thoughts that when I finally tore my eyes away from the bed, I was surprised to find Jesse staring at me.
“You doing okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. Why?”
He shrugged. “You’ve been quieter than usual since Cash left and keeping to yourself. Just wanted to check in.”
It didn’t come as a shock that he and the others were worried aboutme. They probably thought I was struggling without my sober companion by my side and at risk of slipping into old habits. And I was struggling, but not with my sobriety. The only thing I was having a difficult time with was not seeing Cash every day, not feeling his lips against mine, and not falling asleep with him, where everything felt right.
I nodded. “It’s definitely been an adjustment not having someone watching my every move, but I’m good. Promise.”
Malachi studied me from across the table. He’d suspected something more was going on between me and Cash when I’d talked to him before. While I hadn’t actually confirmed it, I’d be an idiot to think he didn’t know what was going on in my head. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything in front of everyone else.
Jasper began passing out plates of chips and sandwiches since we weren’t stopping during the drive for lunch. The conversation changed to other topics like Jesse and Olivia’s wedding. I’d joked plenty of times about being over all the wedding talk, but it was hard not to look forward to the event when the two of them were so excited about it. Still, when they started to debate the style of chairs for the reception, I zoned out.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I read over my texts with Cash. Throughout the week, I’d sent him a couple asking how he was doing, telling him how my NA meeting in Atlanta went, and other mundane things.
His answers had been short, which I expected since he was busy settling in with his new client. But I couldn’t stop the little bit of worry in the back of my mind that he was pulling away from me and ready to move on. Maybe his new client was hot, flirty, and had already caught his eye.
What the hell was wrong with me? Insecure wasn’t a word anyone would ever use to describe me, so why was the situation with Cash messing with my head so much?
Before I could overthink things, I typed out amessage:
Miss you
Several minutes passed while I waited for him to respond. I started thinking about how things might have gone when Cash stopped at his old apartment to grab his stuff. Had he seen my sister? Had they talked about what had happened the last time they had seen each other?
My thumbs hovered over the keyboard to ask him those questions, as I debated if I really wanted to bring up the topic of my sister. That was one thing I wasn’t sure how we’d handle if we were ever able to be something more.
Just as I was about to set my phone down, it buzzed:
I miss you too
His words both comforted me and broke my heart a little.
