Page 14 of Knox
“Sounds good.”
Stepping into my boxers and sweats, I made my way to the kitchen. Grady was still fast asleep, but I knew he would be up soon.
I popped a pod into the Keurig and hit brew. While it filled the first mug, I grabbed another and set it beside the machine for Knox. While my coffee brewed, I thought about how this weekend was supposed to be about simple things with Grady, like taking him out, making memories, just having fun together. While it would have still included us having Sunday breakfast with my son, I hated how it had really turned out.
Grabbing the waffle mix, I started the batter, taking sips of coffee in between. I heard Knox get out of the shower, so I started his coffee. A few minutes later, he walked into the kitchen, and Ihanded him his mug.He took it and leaned against the counter.
“I keep thinking ...” I hesitated and swallowed.“If she doesn’t make it, I’m done.”
His cup stilled at his lips. “Done?”
“I can’t play anymore. Not if she doesn’t come home. If Grady loses his mom, I can’t expect him to give up his dad for weeks at a time. I won’t do that to him.”
“Then don’t think that far ahead. Grady needs you here now. That’s what matters.”
I looked down at the mixture in front of me.
Knox set his coffee down. “You’re not thinking straight. You haven’t slept; you’ve barely eaten.” His voice stayed soft. “And she’s still alive.”
I didn’t say anything. Just kept stirring the batter that didn’t need to be stirred any longer.
“You’re talking about walking away from everything,” he continued, “but this isn’t the moment to decide anything. Not while you’re this raw.”
“I know.”
“She’s still fighting. So don’t bury her yet.”
“I’m not.” My voice cracked. “I just ... Everything feels upside down.”
“I know, but let’s just see what happens.”
He grabbed three plates from the cabinet and set them on the counter. I poured the batter into the waffle iron and let it cook as Knox cut up strawberries. When the waffles were done, I plated them and handed him one. He took a bite right away. I forced myself to do the same, even though I couldn’t taste it.
“Grady’s gonna wake up soon,” I muttered. “What do I even say today if he asks when she’s coming home?”
“Tell him the truth. That the doctors are still helping her, and she’s resting.”
“What if she doesn’t get better?”
“Then we deal with that later.”
Right on cue, I heard the sound of small feet on the floor. I turned as Grady walked into the kitchen, sleep still clinging to his eyes. I crouched in front of him and brushed his hair back.
“Morning, buddy.” I kissed his head and lifted him onto the counter.
He yawned and rubbed his face. “Can we go to the park today?”
The question felt too normal. Too easy.
I let out a quiet breath. “Maybe. Let’s eat breakfast first.”
He blinked up at me. “Will Mommy come with us if she’s feeling better?”
Knox came to stand beside me, his hand resting between my shoulder blades.
“No, buddy. She’s still in the hospital because she needs more rest.”
Grady nodded, like that made sense. I wasn’t sure how long simple answers would hold.
