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“Call me if you need anything else, and whatever is going on, I hope it will all be okay.”
We said our goodbyes, and I hung up the phone. It was much quieter in Grady’s room, and when I looked at the bed, I saw him curled into a ball, sniffling softly with the blanket pulled up to his chin.
Without saying anything, I sat on the floor next to the bed and read him a book. Eventually, the sniffling slowed down, and his little hand peeked out from under the blanket to reach for me. I wrapped my much larger hand around his and gave it a gentle squeeze.
A couple of minutes later, he was asleep.
4
CREW
I wasn’tsure what time it was when the nurse poked her head in again, but the sky outside the hospital window had gone from black to a grayish blur that signaled dawn was coming.
“You doing okay?” she asked, stepping inside.
I shifted in the chair that had become my temporary home. “Define okay.”
She offered a small smile and held out a paper cup of coffee. “Yeah, I understand, but there’s been no change overnight. Mallory’s vitals are still stable, and she’s holding on.”
I took the cup. “Appreciate you pulling strings to let me stay.”
“Visiting hours aren’t exactly set in stone, especially in situations like this.”
That earned the smallest, weakest flicker of a smile from me. “Thank you. I know you didn’t have to.”
“Mallory didn’t need to be alone. And you clearly weren’t going anywhere.”
“Absolutely not. Her mom should be here soon.”
“I’m heading home, but I told the charge nurse you can stay as long as you need to.”
“Thank you again.”
Once she left, I leaned forward and gently rested my hand against Mallory’s arm. Her skin was warm, but I felt nothing behind it. No twitch, no squeeze, no sign she knew I was there. Just the constant hiss of the ventilator reminding me she hadn’t let go.
“You remember when we were seventeen?” I asked, even though I knew she couldn’t answer. “It was freezing, and we had parked at the turnout by Lake Benson after your shift at the diner. I’d thrown a couple of old quilts in the bed of my truck, and we climbed in, trying to convince ourselves stargazing was romantic. Mostly we just froze our asses off.”
A small chuckle slipped out.
“You brought that hideous fleece blanket with the cartoon cows on it. Said it was the warmest thing you owned, even though it looked like it’d been through ten wash cycles too many.”
I ran a hand down my face.
“We’d both just gotten accepted to Florida State, and we had it all planned out. You and me, forever. You were gonna major in psych, and I was going to go pro.”
I looked at her again, eyes roaming over the bandage on her head and the way her body didn’t move unless the machine made it happen.
“I didn’t know why at the time, but everything changed the second you found out you were pregnant with Grady.”
I swallowed hard.
“I know why you ended it, and we’ve talked about this.” I squeezed her hand.“But don’t make me do this without you. Don’t make me explain to our son why you’re not coming back.”
I sat back and wiped the tear that had slipped from the corner of my eye, and slid my phone out of my pocket. Dialing my mother, it rang twice before she picked up.
“Well, you’re calling awfully early. Is everything all right?” she asked.
I swallowed the lump that was still in my throat and whispered, “No.”
