Page 65 of Paramour of Sin
Because he doesn’t deserve it. And neither does Lord Zebulon.
How could they just decide to control my sex life? Neither of them had any right to do that, because neither of them had any right tome. I knew our Demonic Lord was just as at fault with this as Zane was, but Lord Zebulon had never been outright cruel to me. He’d given me doses of what I needed to survive, while maintaining a professional demeanor.
Which, I supposed, Zane had done as well.
Yet I’d fallen for him. And he’d called me childish for it. Yethewas the one acting like a child. He could have manned up and grown a pair, then come clean about Lord Zebulon’s decree. But he didn’t. Instead, he decided to break my heart.
“Zane…”
“What is it, Guinevere?” His exhausted tone almost had me saying,Never mind. But I had to do this. I had to tell him. It’d been this festering emotion inside me for so long that I felt as though I’d explode if I didn’t say something.
He deserved to know.
Just as I deserved to know that I’d finally come clean.
Over two decades of pent-up tension had me biting me lip, the words a brand against my throat. I felt free in a way that I had never expected to experience.Just say it,I told myself.What’s the worst that can happen?
If only I’d known. God, my stomach flipped now with the sensation of what happened next. How I’d uttered those three meaningful words, the phrase burning my tongue on the way out.
And he’dshatteredme.
“Oh, Guinevere. You don’t love me. You love the idea of me.” His gaze turned condescending. “You’re like a child, sweetheart. A naïve little girl. You have no idea what you want in this life, but we both know it’s not really me.”
His words reverberated around in my head now, the memory fresh and harsh. I’d cried. I’d raged. I’d denied the truth. And then, finally, I’d accepted his statement. I’d forced myself to move on. At least in my own way. I’d sealed my heart, vowed never to worship him again, only to have him come crashing through my walls last night.
And destroy me again this morning.
He’d said all that to me because of Lord Zebulon. Because the Demonic Lord didn’t want us together.
What. The. Hell?I thought, furious all over again.What gives him the right to control my life?And I wasn’t even going to start with Zane. He should have had the balls to fight for me, and he didn’t. So clearly, I’d wasted two decades loving him.
I growled, my annoyance mounting by the second.
“Well, now, that’s a sound I’d like to feel around my cock.” Lord Zebulon’s sensual tone preceded his arrival, his minty scent soon following. But rather than fall to my knees in the requisite bow, I launched myself off the couch and slammed my palm against his cheek.
It was so instinctive.
Soreactive.
I just… I was sitting one moment, then the source of my frustration—or part of it—magically appeared with a sexual joke, and Ilost it.
“What gives you the right to control my life?” I demanded, ready to slap him again.
Only he caught my wrist in the air and twisted me into the wall in a rapid move that knocked the air from my lungs on an, “Oomph.”
“When I said you didn’t always need to bow, I didn’t expect you to go directly to assault,” he murmured casually as he caged me against the hard surface behind me.
I had to shake my head to clear it, my back protesting the harsh treatment. He hadn’t exactly hurt me, his grip relatively gentle as he pressed his opposite arm to the wall over my head, but damn, he moved fast.
My heart leapt into my throat as I realizedwhyhe’d moved that fast.
Because I hit him.
Oh, demons…
My knees started to shake, but the inclination to fall to the ground disappeared behind a wave of irritation. Because why should I bow to him? He’d controlled my life. He’d told Zane he couldn’t touch me. Why? Because I was too young? Too innocent?
No, Zane had said it was because Lord Zebulon wanted me for himself.
