Page 87 of Paramour of Sin
“And,” I continued, “I did, at one point, assume your crush was a result of me being your mentor. As a figure of authority and an incubus, it made sense. It also often happened to me in my university days.”
She studied me. “I mean, I guess your incubus energy could have been part of my attraction early on, but it’s always been more than that for me, Zane. I… I can’t explain it. We just click. Even when you’re being an ass and pushing all my buttons, it still feelsrightto be with you. Like I’m more complete at your side.”
I nodded, understanding that feeling, because I sensed it around her, too. And especially right now.
“I always wanted to be good enough for you,” she added. “And I hated anytime I screwed up and disappointed you. Which is why your rejection hurt as much as it did. I felt like I’d made the biggest mistake of my life by confiding my feelings to you. I’d misread every signal, even the ones that were pretty damn obvious, and… I could feel your disappointment in me.”
Surprised, I went up on my elbows so I could look directly at her as I said, “Gwen, you never disappointed me. If you sensed that in me, it was because I was disappointed in myself. I hated saying all those things to you.”
“But I have disappointed you in the past,” she pressed. “When I’ve accidentally… fed too much.”
“No, sweet girl.” I sat up, then hauled her into my lap, wrapping my arms around her as the blankets fell around us, giving me tantalizing glimpses of her bare skin. “Control is an acquired skill, and the length of time required to master it is different for everyone. Where you and I differ is I didn’t feel bad when I killed someone.”
“A lack of empathy would definitely make this lifestyle easier,” she grumbled. Her face was tucked against my neck, so I couldn’t see her expression. “Maybe I’d be less like a child.”
I hugged her tighter. “No, I don’t think so. I admire your humanity, and the way you care about others. It’s endearing, not childlike.”
“Then why’d you throw that in my face?”
“Because it was easier to push you away than to argue with Lord Zebulon’s logic.” I brushed my chin over her hair, then nuzzled her ear. “I always assumed, as well, that anything between us could never be possible, which was another reason I didn’t press the issue of pursuing you with Zebulon. It’s not fair. We would always have to share with someone in order for us to feed.”
“Is that so bad?” she asked.
I let out a short, bitter laugh. “I’ve hated every man who’s ever touched you when I couldn’t.”
“You share me just fine with Lord Zebulon,” she pointed out. “In fact, I think you like sharing me with him.”
I couldn’t even argue that point. Being in bed with the two of them together had been…amazing.
“How long have you been in a relationship with him?” Her voice was soft and hesitant, as though she wasn’t sure if asking about him was okay. But I had no qualms talking about Zebulon with her. If we were going to do this, then she deserved to know everything. At least from my point of view.
“I wouldn’t call it a relationship, really,” I started, thinking through my history with the Demonic Lord. “We’ve been together almost a century, but not exclusively. Just… we fit well. After what happened with Amarella, Zebulon didn’t want to pick up another consort. I give him the release he needs, and vice-versa. It’s a mutual partnership.” Underlined with romantic feelings neither of us ever acknowledged. I didn’t exactly love him, but I did care for him. And I knew he felt the same for me.
“I never met Amarella,” she said softly. “But she was a succubus, right?”
I opened my mouth to confirm and to say she wasn’t missing much, but as if summoned by our turn in conversation, Lord Zebulon himself appeared. He portaled directly into the bedroom, already seated on the edge of the mattress as the faint scent of sulfur faded, replaced by his minty aftershave.
I shut my mouth again, and wondered how much he’d heard before he manifested. Zebulon didn’t like to talk about his former consort, so he probably wouldn’t be thrilled by us speaking about her either.
For once, Guinevere didn’t try to leap out of my arms to bow for him. She just smiled and reached out a hand to touch his shoulder. He stole it in mid-air and planted a kiss to her knuckles before releasing her.
Lord Zebulon crossed his legs, resting his right ankle on his left knee, looking for all the realm like he’d been there all morning. “You never met Amarella, my darling Guinevere, because I killed her before you ascended to Earth.”
Guinevere tensed in response.
All sorts of honesty happening today, I thought. I arched a brow at the Demonic Lord.You better tell her why.
“Amarella betrayed me to a known enemy and attempted to overthrow me,” he continued, his voice detached. While he’d come to terms with Amarella’s behavior, I knew it still infuriated him. I didn’t blame him. What’d she done was unforgivable.
Zebulon reached over to cup Guinevere’s cheek, his thumb drifting along her lower lip. “Don’t ever betray me, Guinevere. I would hate for you to end up in a similar situation.”
She went rigid in my arms, her breath catching in her throat.
I nearly groaned. However, I understood why he’d said it.
It wasn’t a warning for her, but for himself.
Only those within his inner circle had the ability to hurt him, and with each intimate caress, she slipped one step closer to his heart.
