Page 113 of Cruelly Bitten
I winced, Michael’s voice echoing in my thoughts on repeat, the finality of his statements continuing to chip at my resolve.
If Cam’s memories were inaccessible, then I had to win him over in his current state.
A state whereby he’d been brainwashed by Lilith to hate humanity. To think of me as property, not a person. To care only about his vampiric satisfaction and nothing else.
Even if I could get through to him, would we be able to move on from this? He’s playing with other females… Because I’m not enough for him?
After over a thousand years of faithfulness, of being by each other’s sides, his body still allowed him to indulge in someone else.
No, not just someone—someones.
I didn’t want to hold it against him, and I knew it wasn’t really fair, but how could I just let that go?
My hands flexed, then curled, and then flexed again as I drew my arms around myself.What can I do?I asked myself on repeat.How do I fix this?
I continued to pace, my body healed from Michael’s treatment—and my endless walking earlier—yet exhaustion tugged at my psyche.
No amount of Cam’s blood could alter my feelings. He could give me a temporary high, a taste of euphoria, but the moment reality settled, my mood plummeted.
“I love you, Ismerelda. Always. Forever. For eternity.”
I closed my eyes as I pictured Cam’s face, the earnestness in his features, the adoration in his gaze, the warmth in his touch…
My throat tightened.
“I love you, too,” I’d whispered back to him.
How many times had we engaged in that exchange? A hundred? A thousand?
A promise to always be there for each other. To always care for one another. To always be together.
Except, he’s not that Cam anymore. And he’ll never be that Cam again.
To give up on him would be worse than his infidelity. He needed me now more than ever. But how could I help him if he didn’t want my assistance?
Without his memories, he was a completely different person.
Is this who he would have been without me?I wondered.Was he always destined to be this cruel monster? And I just distracted him from that path? Or were there other aspects of his life that made him who he used to be?
Had I altered fate? Was this fate correcting itself?
My jaw hurt from clenching it so hard.
I hated this. Hated Lilith. Hated Michael. Hatedfate.
“He’ll never turn you. And not just because he can’t remember you. A millennium is a long time to keep a mortal pet. He obviously never wanted an equal. He just wanted a toy.”
I swallowed, those last two sentences repeating in my mind.
Is he right?I wondered.Is that why Cam never turned me?
I shook my head.No. He… he just wanted to preserve our bond.
But why?I whispered.Was it really because he didn’t want our connection to end? Or because he needed my blood?
I palmed my forehead, my eyes burning behind my closed lids.
These brimming uncertainties were going to drive me mad.
