Page 70 of Eclipse Sector
“Why?” I whispered, my fingers lifting up to grasp his bare arms. “Whyis it the right thing to do? If you want me, then why…? Why fight it?”
I didn’t understand.
None of this made any sense.
“Because I can never put you first.” He pulled back, his eyes open once more as he gazed down at me. “You deserve someone who will make you his world, Vana. Someone who will alwayschoose you over everything and everyone else. I can’t be that someone.”
“Who says I want that someone,” I told him. “Who are you to decide what or who I should want?”
He sighed. “I’m doing what needs to be done to ensure your happiness.”
I frowned at him. “Why do you get to decide what will and will not make me happy?”
He studied me. “Ivana?—”
“No, Cillian. You said you don’t pity me. Then you told me you want me. And now you’re saying you can’t have me because I deserve better. But I’m the one who decides who and what I deserve. Not you.”
He released my throat and took a step back.
So I followed him.
“Either you’re lying or you’re making excuses. I can’t tell which. But this is bullshit, Cillian. If you want me, prove it.” Those were the two words he’d used outside when I’d said I could take care of myself. Might as well return the favor now.
Because if he meant any of this, then he needed to act on it.
“Don’t tell me what I deserve or what kind of Alpha I should want. Respect me enough to let me make my own choices, and fight for me.”
He drew his fingers through his thick, damp hair, the showerhead having rained down over his head and broad shoulders when he’d entered the shower. “I can’t fight for you, Ivana. I can’t take a mate.”
“Why?” I demanded. “Why can’t you take a mate?”
He gave me a hard look. “You already know the answer to that.”
“Then tell me again.”
“Kieran owns my fealty. He will always come first.”
“Okay. And he doesn’t want you to take a mate?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“You said you can’t take a mate because Kieran will always come first. If he hasn’t ordered you to remain single, then why can’t you take a mate?”
“Because he comes first,” he said through his teeth. “I won’t take a mate just to make her the second most important wolf in my life. That’s not fair to her. It wouldn’t be fair toyou.”
“What isn’t fair is for you to tell me what’s good enough and what’s not. Have you asked me if I mind being second to Kieran on your priority list?”
“Vana—”
“Answer the question, Cillian. Have you asked me howIfeel?”
He clenched his jaw. “I won’t let you sacrifice your happiness, Ivana.”
“Do I look happy to you?” I asked him. “Have I seemed happy at all these last few weeks?”
His jaw tightened again. “You were laughing with Prince Cael.”
I snorted. “Really? That’s your answer?”
