Page 73 of Eclipse Sector
“My father was insane,” I confided softly. “And I don’t mean that as an exaggeration. I mean he was driven to insanity by bloodlust.” I swallowed. “I don’t know what triggered it, but whatever it was likely exists in me. So when you talk about fear, Ivana,thatis my phobia—becoming my father.”
Which was why I’d devoted my life to saving Omegas from troublesome situations.
My father had created a harem of unwilling Omegas, knotting the women without regard to their consent and sharing them with Alphas from other clans around the world. He hadn’t fraternized with V-Clan kind; he’d preferred the mentality of Z-Clan and X-Clan wolves.
I repeated some of that aloud to Ivana, withholding the violent details. Then added, “He killed everyone in Eclipse Sector who was over the age of fifteen, as well as all of his Alpha sons—except me. The only reason I survived was because he saw himself in me.”
A fact he loved to comment on every time we locked eyes. “It’s like looking in a mirror,” he’d say, pleased. “Just need to toughen you up, my boy.”
My grip in Ivana’s hair loosened, my stomach churning with the memories of my past. Memories ofhim.
“I was thirteen when he finally died,” I muttered. “It took me far too many years to take him down, and in the end, I hadn’t been able to finish the job.” That was when Kieran had taken over and severed my father’s head from his body.
Lorcan had then tossed the remains into my father’s pride and joy—his dungeon incinerator.
The stench of that damn place still haunted me today, despite it having been long destroyed.
“I was a coward that day,” I admitted aloud. “But I’m not a coward with you, Ivana. I’m trying to be strong, to encourage you to find a better mate, to ensure you’re not tied in any way to my darkness.”
I released her hair to palm her cheek.
“I’m not worthy of an Omega mate, love. It’s a fate I’ve long accepted. Although you’ve certainly tempted me to reconsider, I can’t allow myself to be that selfish. Because I don’t deserve to have such a beautiful gift in my life.” I brushed my lips against hers in the softest of touches. “If I could have you, I would in a heartbeat. But it would be wrong, Vana. Very, very wrong.”
My heart felt somehow lighter now that I’d revealed the truth to her.
I wished she could be mine.
But she couldn’t.
“I vowed long ago that I would dedicate my life to protecting the remaining inhabitants of Eclipse Sector and their kin. That vow expanded when Kieran took over Blood Sector and brought all our wolves with him. I serve at his side willingly because heearned my fealty. And I will spend my existence making amends on behalf of my bloodline.”
It was my due. Too many wolves had lost their parents before they even knew them, all because I hadn’t been able to take my father down on my own.
I’d needed Kieran.
“That sounds lonely,” Ivana whispered, drawing my gaze to her mouth. There was something in her tone that hypnotized me. Or maybe it was just the female herself.
Everything she did captivated me. Made me question my fate. Had me longing for something I shouldn’t. Forced words from my mouth that I shouldn’t say…
“Being alone has never bothered me,” I murmured. “It’s my life.”
“That doesn’t have to be your life, Cillian.” Her palms skimmed up my sides, the warmth of her touch causing my wolf to freeze inside me. Anticipation hummed through my veins, my inner beast curious as to what she might do.
Her fingers danced over my chest, causing me to hold my breath.
I didn’t want to move.
Didn’t want to frighten the exploring Omega.
Didn’t want to destroy this unique moment between us.
I’d told her things I hadn’t said to anyone else. Provided her with a history that left me feeling inferior as an Alpha. Gave her all the reasons why we couldn’t be together.
Yet she was… moving closer to me.
“You don’t have to be alone,” she told me, her gentle voice a kiss to my senses. Her warmth moved up to my face, her palm cradling my cheek. I leaned into her hand, desperate for more. Utterly lost to her display of affection.
My hands fell to her hips, my fingers gripping her with a need I could barely suppress.
