All of them spiraling into a chaotic mess of words and growls and noise that I couldn’t comprehend. It was too much. Too overwhelming. Too?—
A rumble reverberated through my head, the sound one that instantly calmed my mind and enclosed me in a sea of consistent vibrations.
Rhythmic.
Soothing.
Quiet.
I curled into the source of that repetitive thrum, realizing belatedly that it was Cillian’s purr. His arms were around me, holding me to his chest, his lips at my ear as he hummed softly against my ear.
I’ll teach you how to block them,he whispered into my mind.It won’t be difficult once you know how to form the mental walls, Ivana. You already have a natural inclination for it.
I-I do?I asked, shivering.
Yes. You’ve used it around me countless times. It’s why your mind is always so peaceful—you guard all your inner thoughts. Only the loudest ever escape your mind.His lips brushed my forehead. “We’ll figure this out, love,” he continued aloud. “I’ll help you.”
I leaned into him as another tremble worked its way down my spine. All I wanted to do was collapse into his purr and reside there for eternity.
My eyes were still closed, my insides nauseated from the onslaught of noise that had just assaulted my mind. But ever so slowly, I began to relax. At least a little.
I kept hearing all those statements on repeat, their owners a big blur.
Except for Quinn.
Her voice had stuck out.
Ashlyn wouldn’t run away.
My eyes opened. “Ashlyn’s missing.” I’d forgotten Cillian had mentioned that previously, when he’d been talking about prioritizing me over finding her. I’d asked a few questions, but then I’d been distracted by his confession about why he’d gone to see Kieran.
About me. About the serum. About how it may have altered my ability to consent.
But now… now I recalled clearly what we’d been discussing before that conversation.
“You put me first, even though Ashlyn might be in trouble,” I continued aloud. That was what he’d been saying when I’d interrupted him, asking about her whereabouts.
No, there was nomightabout it.
Ashlynisin trouble.
And Cillian was too busy worrying about me to help Lorcan find her.
I’d realized a bit ago that I wanted to be his priority, but not at the cost of another life.
Ashlyn wouldn’t run away, Quinn had thought.
While I didn’t know the Z-Clan Omega well, I agreed with Quinn’s assessment.
“Yes, I put you first,” Cillian replied, making me frown.
What?
“It was the most natural decision in the world, Vana,” he went on, confusing me even more. “And it was the right one.” He cupped my cheek, his thumb tracing the hollow beneath my eye. “But I understand now that I pushed you away because it was the only way I could focus on Kieran and on Blood Sector. Embracing this—embracingus—changes everything for me.”
I blinked.
He’d said this to me before, while holding me in his arms.