Page 64 of Eclipse Sector
She would never be able to come first. I’d devoted my existence to helping Kieran. It was the honor and respect he was due.
Ivana didn’t understand that. She didn’t understand me or my history.Because I’ve never told her.
Instead, I’d spent the last six years trying to push her away. To guide her toward a more reasonable future. One where she would be happy. In love. Properly worshipped.
Yet the woman before me now was none of those things.
Because of me.
“I never meant to hurt you,” I told her softly. “Fuck, Vana, hurting you is the last thing I’ve ever wanted. It’s why I’ve refused to let anything happen between us. I’m not good enough for you, love. I’ve never been good enough. And I’ll never be good enough.”
Uttering the truth aloud was agonizing in a way I hadn’t anticipated. Because the truth was that a deeply buried part of me wanted to be good enough for her.
“You’re the first one to ever tempt me from my fate,” I confided to her. “But I’m not in your league, darling. That’s what I was saying to Lorcan that day—you’re in a league far above my own. And I need you to see that. To find someone better suited. Someone who can give you everything. Someone who…”
I trailed off, swallowing.
Because I hated everything about this conversation.
“Fuck, I’m trying. But it’s…” I closed my eyes, my wolf growling furiously inside. He absolutely understood the gist of what I was trying to say, and he didn’t agree.
Mine!he practically roared.
“It goes against every instinct for an Alpha to try to convince his Omega to pick someone else,” I said through my teeth. “But it’s the right thing to do. I’ll never be right for you. Pretty sure I proved that this morning.”
I’d grounded her in a way I shouldn’t have.
All because I couldn’t seem to control myself around her.
The moment I’d felt her wandering off without a chaperone, I’d lost my mind. She could have been taken. Hurt. Or a myriad of other things.
Was it likely something would happen to her? No, not really. Not with me here.
But just the mere concept of it had sent my beast shadowing toward her. Because she was his to guard.Until she finds another Alpha to protect her.
I ran my palm over my face and finally opened my eyes, ready to comment further on what Ivana needed to find in a mate. But I found myself unable to utter the words as I took in the heartbreak etched into her expression.
She’d finally uncurled from her ball, and I truly wished she hadn’t. Because the sadness in her features caused my heart to shatter into a thousand pieces.
I did this to her.
I hurt her.
I broke my promise.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered again, my purr still radiating from my chest. “I should never have throttled your shadowing ability. I knew better. I…” I shook my head, cutting off what I’d been about to say. “I’m not going to insult you with an excuse. I shouldn’t have done it. End of discussion.”
She stared at me, her mind still eerily silent. If she weren’t right in front of me, I’d worry she might be dead.
Because that was how this felt—this separation from her aura.
This is how it’ll feel when she finds a mate and moves to Night Sector,I thought, my throat working to swallow.
I’d known losing her would hurt, but I hadn’t realized just how painful it would be.
Yet this was worse. She’d chosen to lock me out. I had no idea how she’d done it. The ability was miraculous, and under any other circumstance, I’d be enthralled.
But right now, I’d give anything to sense her again. Even if her surface-level thoughts were all filled with hatred toward me, at least I’d be able tofeelher.
