Page 55 of Call Me Anytime
Her jaw gapes in shock. “S-she went outside?”
I nod.
Hannah’s eyes widen in fear first, then settle into sadness. And I know why—if I hadn’t been out there, there’s no telling what could have happened.
Seeing that sadness on her face is like a punch to the gut, rooted, of course, in my failure to protect her, even though emotional security isn’t in my job description.
I want to tell her something that’ll ease her anxiety about her mother’s safety. Something that’ll help. But I know how things were for my grandpa Louie when my grandma’s dementia was progressing. I know how he did everything in his power to keep her safe, to keep her happy, and to keep her living in her own home.
But even with around-the-clock care, things like what Sherry did this morning still occurred.
There’s no easy fix, no magic words that will make Hannah feel secure. This problem—the slow demise of the mother she once knew—isn’t one I can solve, no matter how hard I try.
Which fucking sucks.
21
Hannah
8:00 a.m.
Dom stands at the stove finishing the eggs, and I tuck a blanket over my mom’s legs on the couch and turn onNCIS, my heart in my throat.
My mom is happy, smiling huge over her morning adventures with Tony DiNozzo—a.k.a. Dom—but I’m in a tailspin as I try to figure out what in the hell I’m going to do from here.
A year ago, I added chimes on every door so that I would hear if anyone—my mom—was leaving the house. Six months ago, I added a few security cameras that focused on the spots of the house I thought were the weak points and had them linked to my phone so I’d get notifications. And after I walked out of the shower to two detectives sitting in my kitchen—that my mom let in without me realizing—I added a smart doorbell and another security camera in the front.
But even after all that, my mom still managed to walk out of the house this morning without me realizing.
Fuck.
I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever really be able to keep her safe. I have to sleep, I have to shower, I have to go to the bathroom—I can’t be alert twenty-four hours a day, and even if I could, I don’t think it’sexactly the best option. As it is, I have Lovie to help me some of the time, but the truth is, it’s starting to seem like I need full-time care from two people instead of one.
The idea of paying for that—of finding a way to make that work when I’m barely making ends meet as it is—hurts my stomach something fierce. Sure, my job at CMA has helped me stay afloat, but I’m not making enough money to hire a whole other Lovie.
I can’t even imagine how many sex calls I’d have to take to hit those kinds of numbers.
I move back into the kitchen just as Dom is scraping the final eggs out of the pan and onto a plate. He holds them out to me, a sad but kind expression souring the normally handsome smile right off his lips.
His face is full of pity—for me—and my jaw aches from the pressure with which I clench it.
“Thank you,” I say quietly, hoping not to disturb my mom now that she’s distracted. “I don’t even want to think about what might have happened if you hadn’t been out there. I didn’t know you were staying the night again.”
Dom shrugs. “I was pretty tired, and I know it helped you sleep better when you knew someone was keeping watch. No big deal.”
I laugh softly, the sound hollow and forced, because itisa big deal. No one has ever done things like this for me before. No one has ever made me feel this safe. No one has ever made me feel like Dom has—like I can count on him for anything.
“Plus, I had your battery anyway, so when I woke up when Lovie was leaving this morning, I figured I’d throw it in for you before I took off. That’s when your mom came out.”
I study the plate of eggs closely and twist my fork in my hands.
I blow out a breath and set my plate down on the counter, sinking my head into my hands. Dom is quick to put two comforting hands to my shoulders, the heat from his chest seeping straight into my back as he whispers in my ear, “It’s going to be okay, Hannah.”
His voice is low and soothing, and it vibrates through me, making my heart race. I can’t stop myself from leaning back slightly, just enough to feel him more fully against me. The temperature of his body, the solid strength of him—it’s all too much and not enough at the same time.
“Is it?” I whisper, my voice trembling a little. “Because I really don’t know anymore.”
“You’re doing everything you can and figuring it out as you go. That’s the best anyone can do.”
