Page 127 of Player Misconduct
"And what if she doesn't?" I ask quietly.
Penelope doesn't answer. She just squeezes my arm once, quick and reassuring, and walks away.
"I promise she has her reasons for why she's doing this. You're just going to have to wait it all out. She'll come to you when she's ready."
I want to ask more questions, but Cammy runs down and tells her that an important sponsor just called with concerns and they want to talk to her right away. I'm back in the locker room, tying my skates, when Theo sits down beside me.
"Everything good?" he asks, keeping his voice low.
"Yeah," I lie. "Just tired."
He doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't push.
I glance down at my phone one last time before tucking it into my locker.
Me: I'm sorry about what's happening. Can we talk?
Kendall:I need more time.
Relief that she at least answered me back, hits.
Me:How much time?
She doesn't answer back, and my time is up. I need to get on the ice.
The whistle blows for morning skate.
I grab my stick and head for the tunnel, forcing my legs to move even though every instinct in my body is screaming at me to turn around, to drive to her apartment, to find her and fix this before it's too late.
But I can't.
Because Coach is calling my name.
Because the team needs me on the ice.
Because maybe—just maybe—Penelope's right. Maybe she needs space. Maybe she'll come back when she's ready.
But as I step onto the ice, the cold biting through my gear, I can't shake the feeling that I'm losing her.
Not slowly.
Not quietly.
But right now, in real time, while I'm standing here doing nothing.
I skate harder than I have all season.
I'm faster, sharper, pushing myself until my lungs burn and my legs scream and the only thing I can hear is the scrape of my blades cutting into the ice.
If I just keep moving, maybe she'll come back.
Maybe she's just cooling down.
Maybe this isn't the start of losing her.
But when I glide past the bench, the empty spot where she should be feels louder than the crowd ever will.
And for the first time since I met her, I don't know how to fix it.
