Page 54 of Player Misconduct
I’ll only hate myself more in the morning.
“Not tonight… probably not ever,” I say. “Dinner was all I can handle right now.”
He studies me for a beat longer, searching for something in my face that I’m not willing to give. Finally, he nods. “You’ll consider my offer though? About the pregnancy?”
“I will take your odd proposal into consideration.”
The valet pulls up my car, the headlights of my old but reliable car cutting through the rain-slick pavement. Tarron waves off the driver and holds the door open for me. These are the kind of moments when I see the old Tarron. I slide inside, thank him, and wait until the door shuts before exhaling and unclenching the abs I’ve been holding all night with nerves.
Through the windshield, I catch his reflection. confident, charming, and perfectly unbothered by my rejection because he’s confident I’ll come around, like I always did. The man who used to be my whole world, and then took a wrecking ball to it in less than a second.
I grip the steering wheel. “I’m not pregnant,” I whisper to my reflection in the rearview mirror. “I can’t be.”
My heart doesn’t believe it. Not even a little.
By the time I pull into my apartment complex, the city feels half-asleep. My hands tremble as I reach into the glove compartment and pull out the pregnancy test Isla gave me. It feels heavier now than it did when I left Vivi’s house. Like it already knows the answer I’m not ready for.
In the bathroom, I follow the directions with clinical precision. Years of medical training don’t make it any easier. I set the test on the counter and wash my hands, because it’s something to do while I wait.
But waiting is the worst part.
I grab my phone, thumb hovering over the screen. Before I can talk myself out of it, I open Instagram again.
Aleksi’s page.
The first thing I see is a new post: him on the ice, grinning, arm wrapped around that same blonde woman. She’s laughing up at him, cheeks pink from the cold, like they share a secret only they know.
My stomach twists. God, he looks happy.
The caption:Nothing better than being home.A heart emoji and a Finnish flag.
I want to be happy for him. I do. But the air leaves my lungs in a sharp exhale.
He deserves this. Some peace and normalcy. A woman not running from him to save her career.
And I… can’t be the one to take that away.
A baby with Aleksi could cost me my license and cost the team and Aleksi sanctions.
It doesn’t change the fact that seeing them together makes the nausea rise fast. I barely make it to the toilet before I throw up.
When it’s over, I rinse my mouth, splash cold water on my face, and stare at my reflection. I look pale despite the full face of make-up, and I’m shaking–terrified.
I turn toward the counter.
The test is ready.
Two pink lines stare back at me.
My knees almost buckle. I grab the sink, heart pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears.
Aleksi’s smiling face flashes in my mind again, that woman tucked under his arm, his caption about being home.
“I can’t ruin this for you,” I whisper.
But the truth glows bright and undeniable in front of me.
Positive.
