Page 122 of By the Moonbeam and the Mist
Steeler had gone rigid, his chest frozen mid-breath, his eyes bursting with both ravenous hunger and…. confusion. Shock. Maybe even a little fear. This was different from me getting on my knees for him, somehow. I could suck his cock all I wanted and still be able to call it a release of hatred, but if I let my lips do what they truly burned to do and fit my mouth against his…
Steeler threaded one of his hands through my hair, holding the back of my neck and drawing me closer to him. So close that I could see the constellations in his eyes.
And… no.
No, no, no.
The last time I’d done this, the last time I’d let my lips get this close to him, we’d fused together only for me to open my eyes against nothing but mist and emptiness.
If I kissed him now, he could leave. If I kissed him now, I might blink awake to find myself back in my bed in my Wild Whisperer room, with nothing in my hands but a fistful of blankets.
And despite that tally, despite the ache and anger he’d left like handprints all over me, I didn’t want this male to leave me again. I wouldn’t be able to focus on my next task at hand with that kind of heartbreak cracking through me once more.
“Rayna…” Steeler breathed against me.
I exhaled and pulled back.
As violently as if I’d shocked him, he let go of my hair.
“So…” I said, hating the sudden wrenching feeling of separation but forcing a coy smile onto my face as if I didn’t. Anything to get back to small talk, to smear thatalmostmoment away. “You remember the very first dress I wore, huh?”
Hurt and shame and disappointment seemed to be rolling off him, but he just said, eyes tacked to mine, “I remember everything you’ve ever put on, actually.” The look in his eyes told me he remembered everything I’d ever takenoff, too, even if I couldn’t.
“Good,” I said, still trying to play it casual. I threw a glance up at the swirling Cosmos of his mind to reorient myself. “You know my size, then. I might have you get me some more after I have to trudge through swamps to get… what was it? Poison dart frog eggs?”
Barberro had given me a hefty list of herbs, bones, and other distinctly strange or deadly items to procure for Nara’s poison concoction. And while yes, I was a Wild Whisperer, I didn’t fancy the idea of trying to convince a swarm of hornets to squirt their venom into a jar for me.
Steeler gave a half-grin, apparently accepting the turn of the conversation. “Why do the dirty work when the shadiest of the Cardina peddlers do it for you?”
Ah, right. The Cardina peddlers came to the Esholian Institute at the start of every wet season, which meant they were due to arrive any day now. I lifted my eyebrows, though.
“You seriously think theCardina peddlerswill just happen to be carrying around ingredients to kill Dyonisia Reeve?”
Steeler shrugged. “I’ve seen the Cardina peddlers selling mushrooms that could keep a grown man high for two weeks straight. Plus, they don’t know alchemy like Nara does. I bet they don’t even know the power of what they sell. So yes, I do think they’ll be carrying all the ingredients you need—in fact, I’ll bet you on it.” He stretched out a large, calloused hand.
I considered that hand and hated myself for immediately wishing it could be threaded through my hair again. Or somewhere—anywhere—else on my body. “What do I get if I win?”
“Whatever you want.”
I squinted up at him, more than suspicious at how serious his tone sounded. “And what do you get ifyouwin?”
“You’ll have to wait and find out, little hurricane.” He had the audacity to wink at me then. “But I promise it’ll be good.”
I couldn’t help myself anymore.
I reached out and grabbed hold of his hand, melting into the warmth of his callouses as his fingers closed around mine.
“You’re on.”
CHAPTER
37
Steeler was going to win, dammit.
As I meandered through the bustling market with Emelle, Wren, and Gileon on the Friday the Cardina peddlers came to campus, I kept half an eye peeled for the items on Nara’s list.
To my dismay, we passed by almost all of them—a cart of golden dewdrops for insomnia here, a booth of castor beans for constipation there—all seemingly normal supplies unless you ate too many of the dewdrop berries or actually chewed the beans. Or mixed them together to make a poison lethal enough to kill a faerie.
