Page 43 of Veradel
Vivian managed to find some old hunting leathers that fit me perfectly, sculpting to my body with an elasticity that moves with my bones. She also gave me a special belt that I strap around my waist, fitted with various knives.
“In case you need something a little sharper than your new claws,” she says now, admiring my appearance in the doorway with her arms crossed.
I glance down at my hands, flexing my fingers and feeling the sharp points of my nails pierce my palms.
Vivian watches me carefully, her eyeline following as I repeat the motion over and over.
“Feel different?” she asks curiously.
I nod slowly before a nagging feeling tugs on my heart. “Do you view me differently?”
Vivian blinks, then a laugh bubbles out of her chest. “Human. Vampire.” She shrugs. “Same difference. You’re still not as cool as me.”
“I never will be,” I joke, but I still feel the heaviness of the moment, a seriousness that lurks just below the surface of our moods. My tone changes to match it. “Thank you for still being my friend, Viv.”
“Yeah,” she says nonchalantly, waving a hand through the air, “I’ve always wondered if vampires are inherently evil or if the ones who stole our kingdom are just assholes. Pretty sure I have my answer now. You and I aren’t actually that different. We want the same things. Love the same people.”
My cheeks heat, the embarrassment flooding for multiple reasons: what Lucan declared in the kitchen and the fact that I didn’t respond in kind.
“You love him back, don’t you?” Vivian prods.
When I don’t answer but my face reveals enough, the shadow of a smirk forms across her lips.
“What if the Guardians catch and kill me?” I whisper, a fear spreading in my belly like fire—not for myself exactly, but more for him and what my death would do to him.
Vivian cocks her head at me, her eyes pinning me with a stern look I don’t quite understand. “Would you rather experience true love and lose it or never find it at all?”
My heart squeezes, goosebumps cascading up my arms. “That’s profound.”
Vivian bursts out laughing. “God, that’s so cliche. I forget you’ve never heard things like that.” But her laughter fizzles out as she leans against the doorframe, her brow furrowed in thought. “Cliches hold truth though, I guess. Lived out again and again—by everyone, even if we’re all ‘different.’ We all share something in common. Just something to think about.”
Which, of course, I do. I think long and hard.
Guilt pricks in my chest. I can’t tell Lucan I love him just to turn around, jump back down into Xantera, and then meet my demise at the Guardians’ feet. It will only destroy him further.
And if I don’t tell him I love him now, it will be even more incentive for me to survive.
More importantly, incentive for me to return.
Saskia stares up at the looming height of the Wall, and I stare at her.
A slight breeze whistles in from the woods, picking up the ends of her hair and sending her scent straight into my nostrils. As soon as her essence invades my senses, I have to lock my limbs to keep myself from pouncing on her. From throwing her over my shoulder and running far, far away, where she won’t ever be able to crawl back into this cage ever again.
It would be wicked, yes, but half of me doesn’t fucking care.
The other half, of course, cares more than a million worlds put together. The way Saskia still looks at me like I’m the only thing orbiting her existence makes me yearn to be good for her. To be the exact opposite of a Monster in any way she needs.
“I can see the veins better now that I’m a vampire,” Saskia breathes, and I move up behind her to follow the direction of her pointed finger—toward the glassy cracks in the Wall that writhe and twist ever so slightly, like live vines. “I never saw them moving before. Not as a human.”
She can see better now. I should have suspected, but there’s still so much more for us to learn about this new way of life. When she finally rips her eyes away from the Wall and back to my face, I wonder what else she sees in me now that her senses are so heightened.
“Don’t do this.” The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them.
Behind us, Vivian snorts. I’d almost forgotten she was even here with us, the rest of the pack gathered on the opposite end of the Wall, per my orders. “You’d throw me over the Wall if you could, Lucan, tell me to go get it, and walk away without a second thought.”
I wrinkle my nose at her as Saskia laughs. “Don’t tempt me.”
Vivian swats a hand through the air. “She’ll be fine, you love-sick puppy.”
