Page 108 of The Kingdom's Reckoning
Laurince stilled, half-standing, half-sitting, frozen awkwardly in the middle.
She forced herself to look at him. The embers were like stars in his dark eyes as he gaped at her.
"Me?" he asked, pointing at himself as he slowly sat down.
Myra nodded, and the regret was instant.
Gods, she was so foolish. She shouldn’t have said anything.
"Why me?"
"Because you…you…" Myra sighed, struggling to find the words. Why was this so hard? It shouldn’t have been. Yet her palms were sweating, her tongue felt heavy, and despite the cold, her hair was sticking to the back of her neck.
"Wait, Haze," Laurince said, concern filling his voice. "DoImake you nervous?"
"No, of course not." She wiped her palms on her trousers. Then, she admitted quieter, "Maybe?"
Dejection, guilt, and regret twisted around him, and Myra didn’t understand it. Had she said something wrong?
"Is it because of what happened back at the tavern?" he asked.
What happened at the tavern certainly didn’t help. Myra was sure she had developed some kind of interest in the captainbefore then, but the tavern had caused something to change. It was there that she realized she couldn’t deny she enjoyed his presence. She would have been lying if she said she hadn’t thought about dancing with him, his hand on her waist, his?—
She cleared her throat. "Maybe?"
Laurince nodded, but the movement was rigid. "I didn’t mean—I’m sorry. Truly, I am."
"What for?" she asked, afraid of the answer. If she had been wrong—if she had misread his emotions—things were going to get awkward fast.
He pulled the cuff of his sleeve down, stretching the fabric over his hand. "For scaring you. I shouldn’t have been so brutal, but it was as if something had overtaken me." He leaned his weight to one side, then the other. "When I saw you, I…I was so angry. More than I had ever been before."
"What could I have done to upset you?" she asked, suddenly regretting starting this conversation.
"You? You did nothing," Laurince said, aghast. "But I shouldn’t have killed him. If I had missed him, I could have hurt you. It was reckless and stupid and?—"
"By the gods, you are more foolish than I thought," Myra mumbled, shaking her head and standing.
Laurince tracked her movements, but Myra didn’t think he was really seeing her. His brows were drawn tight, his brown eyes wide and full of sorrow.
"Yes, and foolish," he said as he nodded repeatedly. "I shouldn’t have done it, but I had to dosomething. He had a blade pressed to your throat. If he had harmed you?—"
Myra grabbed his head between her hands. The shock and panic puckered his lips and enlarged the whites of his eyes. In any other situation, his expression would have been comical.
"Laurince," she said, drawing out the syllables of his name.
"I know," he said, the words mumbled.
She loosened her hold, her touch melting into a caress.
He wrapped one hand around her wrist. His calloused fingers were a balm to her skin. "It was a foolish decision. It put you at risk, and now you’re nervous to be around me because I scared you—" The crease in the center of his forehead deepened as he looked at her quizzically. "Why are you laughing?"
"Because," Myra answered, chuckling, unable to contain her amusement, "you’re not listening."
"Yes, I am." He pulled back as if offended, which only made Myra’s smile widen even more.
"No, you’re not. You’re not a foolish man because you saved me. You’re a foolish man because you believe I am scared of you for what you did when that couldn’t be further from the truth."
"Then what…what is it?" His eyes flitted across her face, searching for the answer as if his life depended on it. "Why do I make you nervous?"
