Page 221 of The Kingdom's Reckoning
Esmeray’s gaze turned icy, as if the raging sea within her irises was freezing over. "You took so much from me: my soul bond?—"
Kage rolled his eyes at the mention of Markos. Esmeray’s late husband was no more than a brute with no respect for others.
"—my daughter, my son." Esmeray stepped closer, the silk fabric of her lilac dress melting over her legs. She pursed her lips as if in disagreement about something.
She sighed and continued. "But Kalisandre believes death would be a mercy. Perhaps she is right." Esmeray grabbed the item hanging from her necklace.
Kage eyed the dainty ring she ran between two fingers. He quickly snapped his gaze away from it.
"Losing someone is strange. The grief never really goes away. We think we will always have our memories of them to hang on to. And to an extent, that is true. Many grand memories will remain. But it is the small moments people often forget that hit the hardest. The sound of one’s voice, one’s laugh. The way someone’s smile would crack at the slightest mishap."
She slid her other hand across the markings on the wall. Her fingers trailed over the ticks etched into the stone. "I thought that with my gift, it would be easier to lose the ones I loved. I could pull on those memories and lessen the weight of their absence. I had hoped that the memories would fill the emptiness." Her hand fell from the markings on the wall. "But it only increased it. Once you’re pulled out of the moment and forced to live in the present again, the mourning period restarts all over."
Kage narrowed his gaze, unsure what game she was playing. Because that was the thing with Esmeray: their relationship had always felt like a game, one he wasn’t sure he ever received the rule book for. He didn’t even know if a rule book existed.
At first, that had been one characteristic that had intrigued him about her, second to her beauty. When Kage had found her in the woods, the young woman’s brazen attitude and fiery spirit had shocked him. Esmeray was unlike anyone else he had ever encountered. She was certainly the opposite of the woman whom Kage’s father had wanted him to marry. Opposite of Troia in all ways.
He wondered whether that version of Esmeray still existed.
When Kage looked at her, he didn’t believe so.
At least, that’s what he surmised from the lilac dress she wore. Although the silk fabric fell over her frame and draped her hips elegantly, it made her nearly unrecognizable. The shade of purple, though beautiful on her, was a color she had despised when she was younger. Whenever she had passed lilacs during their time together, she had shaken them from the trees with an angry vigor. An act that made Kage chuckle the first time he had seen her do it. But then she had explained why she hated the seemingly harmless flowers. Lilacs were all over the castle in Pontia. In the spring, they adorned every corner, every vase. The shade alone reminded Esmeray of her future, of the cage she was destined for once she claimed her title.
Now, as queen, she voluntarily wore it.
Esmeray cocked her head to the side. "I’m curious, Kage. Do you remember when we first met?"
When he didn’t nod or shake his head, her gaze dropped to his hands, which were now rolled into tight fists on his lap.
"So you do," she mused.
He silently cursed his hands for their betrayal and uncurled his fingers, revealing the deep red grooves marking his skin.
"You see, I wasn’t sure if you did," Esmeray said. "Because so many memories have been erased from this world—your wife’s name, your past. When I realized I couldn’t remember Troia’sname years ago, I was confused. I’m fairly good at remembering a name once I hear it, if you recall."
She was now standing within arm’s reach of him. Kage could grab her easily and break her neck with a flick of his wrist. He had broken many necks since he was a child. It wasn’t that hard. One sharp tug, and thencrack.
But Kage didn’t move.
He didn’t react.
Not even when Esmeray reached out a hand, her long elegant fingers worn with time. She scraped her nail across the iron mask. There was a time when he longed for her touch more than anything. But that was a lifetime ago.
The bone-jarring screech caused him to squeeze his eyes shut as a shiver ran down his spine.
Her fingers wrapped around his neck, and his eyes sprang open as she tightened her grip around his throat. Esmeray’s face was mere inches from his. A storm thundered within her irises, roaring as violently as a tempest.
"Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?"
And before he could stop it, Kage was falling.
Epilogue
KALLIE
Some years later
Kallie tappedher fingers along the arm of the cherry-oak chair. She shifted in the seat, the new velvet cushion still a little too plump to be comfortable. Grabbing the quill, she dipped the tip into the pot of ink, then began scrawling across the blank piece of parchment. Around her, the aimless chatter continued. Those sitting around the table parried fruitless arguments back and forth from one side of the table to the other.
