Page 34 of The Kingdom's Reckoning
He took a step closer, determination burning brightly in those silver-moon eyes that dared her to let him in. "You say nothing has changed, but you and I both know that couldn’t be further from the truth. Look around you, Kalisandre. So much has changed already."
She saw the slight changes everywhere she went. During the day, the hallways were filled with an influx of warriors, and the gardens were filled with squadrons training. Hushed and worried conversations flitted about the castle from the staff. Fear had spread fast.
"While things have changed, nothing has changed between us. I need you to believe that," Kallie said, silently begging him to believe her. To make breaking his heart easier.
Graeson grabbed the end of the railing, his fingers flexing over it as if he yearned to eliminate the distance between them.
Why couldn’t he see that the space between them was the only way he would survive?
"I know that returning to Pontia isn’t what you wanted to do," he said, " and I know you blame yourself for the turn of events. If you told me right now that you didn’t want to get on that ship, I would stay with you. I would fight with you."
By the gods, a part of Kallie wanted that more than anything. But she couldn’t be who she needed to be with him trailing her and protecting her. She needed to destroy his hope. Even if it broke her to do so.
"I will follow you to the end of the world. If you just gave me a chance, I’d prove?—"
"There isnothingfor you to prove, Graeson," Kallie snapped, unable to take the pain any longer. "You have done enough."
"But it’s still not good enough, is it?" He rubbed his fist against his chest as if his heart was breaking. "Why does it feel like I’m losing you again?"
Pain flashed across his face, and Kallie wanted nothing more than to wipe it away. But she couldn’t. If she truly cared about him, she couldn’t risk it. So, instead, she drove the knife even deeper into his heart.
Kallie grabbed his hand and opened his palm. She placed the ring in the middle of it and folded his fingers over the band. "You cannot lose me when you never had me, Graeson."
Tears stung the back of Kallie’s eyes, but before Graeson could see them, she spun on her heels.
"Kalisandre, please."
Biting back the tears, she forced her voice to sound steady. "Do not make this any harder than it already is, Graeson. All I do is hurt people. I do not wish to hurt you, too."
"And yet you are all the same," Graeson whispered at her back.
Even though every bone in her body told her to return to him, Kallie didn’t let herself turn around. She hurried up the stairs,hoping that breaking his heart would be the thing that saved him.
Chapter 13
KALLIE
Despite the layers Kallie wore,the crisp night air nipped at her cheeks and reddened the tip of her nose.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Ellie asked, leading two horses over by the reins.
"Yes," Kallie said, wiping the moisture from her face with her sleeve before grabbing one of the reins.
"Very well," Ellie said, turning away and mounting her horse.
As Kallie took in the horse before her, she shoved her old fear down. Right now, there was no time to hesitate, no time to fall into the nightmares. She shoved her foot into the stirrup and hoisted herself up onto the horse’s back. She shifted atop the saddle and clicked her heels against the horse’s side. Kallie kept her attention on the shadows ahead and refused to look back despite the ache in her chest.
Chapter 14
GRAESON
Standingat the edge of the dock, Graeson stared at the small ripples in the water as small orange and red fish swam beneath the surface. Every time one jumped out of the water or popped its head up, the sun’s rays caught on their pearlescent scales. The red and orange hues turned golden as if tiny fires illuminated the water’s surface. A few fish dove beneath the small riverboat that bobbed up and down, waiting for its passengers, their bags already stored.
The bitter taste of goodbyes twisted in the wind around him. Most of the Tetrians had already said their farewells during the dinner the night before, so only a few people were gathered on the dock.
He could only imagine the stress Kalisandre was feeling. She hadn’t been to Pontia since Fynn had passed. Seeing the village would surely be hard for her. But while Graeson wanted to be there for her, she made it clear last night that wasn’t his place. He understood she did not wish to accept the soul bond, but he still cared for her. Was being friends truly off the table?
You have done enough.
