Page 71 of The Kingdom's Reckoning
Kallie’s eyes sprang open.Sweat coated her limbs, and her entire body trembled as she lay on the cold ground.
"Kal?" Graeson’s voice wrapped around her like a blanket, warm and comforting. She wanted to hug the sound and stay encased inside it. His hand rested on her ankle. "Are you all right?"
She rolled over and found him sitting by a pile of cold coals from a fire that had long since extinguished.
"Bad dream," she muttered, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she propped herself onto her elbows. She should go back to sleep, and she most certainly should not get up and?—
The thin blanket slipped off her. In her next breath, she was moving toward Graeson as if an invisible tether pulled her toward him. As she sat down, his gaze never left her, his brows knitting together and a protest frozen on his lips.
Kallie had thought the night terrors were in her past, but as she crept closer to coming face-to-face with Domitius, that was no longer the case. She would have preferred Terin infiltrating her dreams than returning to the nightmares that always seemed to chase her.
"For a while, the nightmares had stopped. But the closer we get…" Kallie’s words fell to the wind. Kallie glanced over at Ellie. The thin blanket was pulled over Ellie’s mouth, leaving only the upper half of her face exposed to the elements. She was still fast asleep.
"Is there anything I can do?" Graeson asked quietly, as if afraid to ask.
Her heart twisted from knowing her actions had made him fearful of offering his help.
"You should sleep," she whispered, knocking her knee into his. She didn’t know why she had done it. She didn’t even know why she had come over. Still, as seconds passed, his closeness seemed to dull some of the previous uneasiness that had been soaking her limbs.
"As should you," he said, returning the gesture.
Her lip twitched but stopped short of a full smile. "I’m serious, Gray."
"I promise I’ll go to sleep soon, all right?" he said. But she could see the lie resting between his pinched brows. "Go to sleep for a little longer. I’ll wake Ellie in an hour or two. "
"I’m already up. I might as well take watch."
Still, Graeson didn’t move. Instead, he returned his gaze to the dead fire. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She shook her head, knowing he was referring to the nightmare. "Not really."
Her attention dropped to her hand. The patch of skin where her ring had once sat was less pale after the days of travel, the tan-line fading. Yet its absence still felt strange. She pressed her palms against the dirt and looked up.
Graeson quickly looked away. He brushed his fingers through his hair, and Kallie tracked the movement. She couldn’t help but marvel at the man sitting beside her. The man who—despite Kallie constantly pushing him away and lying about her own feelings—stayed, who always came after her. Who wanted to see her take ownership of her life.
"Perhaps, the next time you wake up from a nightmare," Graeson said, calling her attention back to their conversation, "try rewriting the ending."
"What do you mean?"
Graeson pointed to his head. "It helps rewire the brain. Your mother told me that once when I used to get them a lot."
"You suffered from night terrors?"
He shrugged as if the answer was inconsequential, but it did matter. A lot mattered, especially when it came to Graeson. His past, his present, his future. She wanted to know what haunted him.
"I suppose you don’t want to talk about it either, then?" Kallie asked, throwing his question back at him.
"It’s not that I don’t want to, but…" His silver eyes fell on her. There was a weight to them that had Kallie dropping her gaze and rolling her shoulders back.
"Does it work?" Kallie asked. "The rewriting or whatever?"
Graeson was silent for a moment as he stared out toward the shadows shifting in the forest when the leaves rustled in the wind. "Sometimes. But sometimes I don’t bother, wanting the reminder of what could happen instead."
"What do you mean?"
He hung his arms over his propped-up knees. "Sometimes, we need the darkness to appreciate the happy moments—thegoodmoments. My nightmares remind me what I’m fighting for, what I’m trying to accomplish. They remind me to continue working to be better."
Unsure how to respond at first, Kallie was silent. What Graeson said made sense, but there was also something sad about it. Her nightmares only ever left her shaken and terrified. But maybe there was something to be said about conquering that fear, about using it to one’s advantage.
