Page 21 of The Runner
It wasn’t long before Cara saw Caroline, the eighteenth-century version of herself. In the dream, she connected to the girl’s emotions and thoughts. Her uncontrollable feelings for George, the master of Willow Manor, troubled Caroline. She was considering resigning her post because she was overcome by the situation and feared what she might do if she stayed.
I must not allow myself to think of him in such sinful ways. He is not my husband and can never be my husband. What is happening to me?
The girl wrung her hands together in prayer on her knees in what was obviously her bedchamber, and Cara recognised as the green room.
The young woman’s lips moved as she prayed and although Cara couldn’t hear her words, they echoed through the chambers of her mind as she slept. She was an observer, but they shared the same soul, which meant she felt her feelings and read her thoughts whether she wanted to or not.
Please, lord absolve me from the sin of my wanton weakness. Oh lord, help me turn away from the lure of the flesh and show me how to extract myself from this unholy bind in which I find myself. Why do I love him when our union is forbidden?
Caroline remained on her knees, her hands clasped tightly together as she quietly sobbed, and the tears spilled down her cold cheeks. She was wretched and didn’t know what to do.
Oh lord, must I leave Willow Manor? Should I put distance between us so I may be absolved of my sin and tempted no more? Please give me a sign for I am lost.
Cara’s eyes peeled open and the memory of what she had experienced flooded her consciousness. All-consuming loss gripped her body and the agony in her heart reminded her of the trauma of when she couldn’t be with George in their present-day life.
If what she had experienced was really happening in Georgiana, it meant there was a very real possibility of Caroline leaving Willow Manor before George fell in love with her and they committed to one another, which could lead to their past lives being rewritten.
A familiar face appeared in her mind through the foggy remnants of sleep, and she knew what she must do. She retrieved her phone from the table, stopped the alarm three minutes before it was due to ring, and typed out a one sentence text and pressed send. She took a gulp of the remnants of her lukewarm tea, dressed and raced into the hallway. She grabbed her denim jacket off the hook, her fingers closing over her car keys in the pocket.
Cara considered looking for George over at the centre to tell him where she was going, but decided that would take too long. She texted him instead, saying not to worry and she would be back soon. And then she tore down the long willow tree-lined driveway, her mind whirling with questions as she expertly swung her car out of the estate and onto the road that would take her to the city centre.
She hoped Sylvia would have time to see her or it would be a wasted trip.
Willow Manor,York - Georgiana
Caroline triedto sneak into the main kitchen unnoticed, but Cook spotted her immediately. ‘Ah, there you are, lass. You nearly missed breakfast, but I saved you a bowl. Take a seat.’
Caroline smiled gratefully at the short, rotund woman who exuded kindness, and sat down at the long table and bid good morning to the others who were finishing up. She was fortunate they were a friendly bunch and had accepted her into the fold even though she fell between the ranks—neither a servant nor a member of the aristocracy.
Caroline lingered at the table after the others left and ate her porridge as she fell into a pleasant daydream in the warm kitchen. Cook was busy clearing up and preparing her menus, ready to consult with the countess.
Caroline’s mind drifted back to a few days earlier when she and Olivia had ridden into Willow Wick with George. The earl had stayed by her side, and she felt an inner glow as they rode into the village, despite her unease that they may bump into Ralph at any minute. George’s calming presence made up for her trepidation and she pushed her fears aside and engaged with his witty conversation and gracious flirting with reckless abandon.
The connection between them was undeniable, and she was powerless to fight the magnetic pull that drew them to each other. The essence of her father’s sobering words reverberated through her mind again—our kind don’t marry their kind, but she allowed herself to enjoy the moment and stop fearing the future. Olivia cantered smoothly ahead as she liked to ride fast, and every five minutes or so she circled back so she didn’t leave them behind.
By the time they reached the end of the footpath which cut through to Willow Wick, Caroline was giddy with love. George had shown himself to be everything she had imagined and more. He had entertained her with amusing stories from his visits to court and had a wonderful, self-deprecating way about him. He was confident without being arrogant and dashing without being ostentatious. The combination was a heady one and Caroline knew there was no going back. She loved him. She loved him from the moment he entered the library when he had interrupted her meeting with his mother.
She couldn’t explain where these powerful feelings came from or why she felt them when she barely knew him. All she knew was that it was as though she had always known him, and now there was the chance for them to have a proper conversation alone, Caroline relaxed and her unease in his company dissolved. As they turned the corner and the village green came into view, she wished they could stay like this forever, and her heart ached at the realisation that they may not have the opportunity to speak privately again for weeks or even months.
What am I to do?
The question lingered in her mind, and she was so preoccupied that, at first, she didn’t notice the tall, dark figure looming in the distance. Caroline raised her head, her mind still confused and her heart full of love for George, when she saw Ralph striding towards them across the green.
‘Who have we here?’ George said, glancing at Caroline.
‘Just a friend of mine. Let me handle him,’ she said. Then, realising her instruction might be construed as impertinent, she added hastily, ‘My lord.’
Caroline drew herself up to her full height and sat straight on the horse as if it might give her the courage she needed.
‘Caroline,’ said Ralph, his tone stiff and showing no acknowledgement or deference to George. Olivia joined them and her horse’s hooves thundered to an abrupt halt next to her brother, her cheeks flushed a becoming rosy hue in the blustery Yorkshire winds.
‘Miss Olivia,’ said Ralph, surprising Caroline by doffing his cap in Olivia’s direction, his attitude altogether more gallant towards the young woman.
‘Good day, Master Knight,’ said Olivia, inclining her head elegantly, all charming blushes and smiles.
‘I didn’t know you two were acquainted,’ said Caroline, a sense of foreboding in her chest. Ralph had quite the reputation for being one with the ladies and had various liaisons, both with young women and older, more worldly ones, which Caroline heard about through village gossip.This was just one of the many reasons she had never taken him seriously as a potential husband… for all he swore his undying love to her, he had a roving eye, and she did not trust him. If it was up to him, they would have been married years ago—she would devote herself to raising their children and he would be free to go about his business as usual.
No, thank you.
