Page 36 of Twin Flames
It’s not really over. I’ll see you in Tudorville.
She was comforted by the thought that she wouldn’t lose him completely. Never had she experienced such a range of conflicting emotions as in the past several weeks since they met. One minute she was a beaming ray of pure ecstasy, the next, an ominous thunder cloud about to burst. The emotional rollercoaster was a nightmare. If he wouldn’t fight for her, it was over.
‘Didn’t you think we might talk about this? Sending a message like that wasn’t very nice.’
His tone was high-pitched, and he sounded frantic.
Cara’s throat tightened. She was overwhelmed with sorrow, and she swallowed her tears. Hurting him, hurt her. ‘I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be the reason your marriage ends, but I can’t be with you if it doesn’t. If you’re happy as you are, then I should leave you to it.’
‘It doesn’t work like that,’ he said. ‘My feelings for you have nothing to do with my marriage.’
‘Perhaps not, but to me and the rest of the world, it looks like they do. You’re happy enough. If you weren’t, you would leave. It’s that simple when it comes down to it.’
‘I don’t care about the rest of the world. I’m pleased it’s so simple for you. You can just end it like that,’ he said. He wasangry, and his sarcasm stung. ‘From here, it doesn’t look simple at all,’ he added.
‘I said it’s simple, not easy. Your choice to pretend everything is fine is not fair on any of us. None of us are getting what we want. Joanna can’t be satisfied sharing her life with a ghost, for Christ’s sake.’ Cara only swore when she was furious. ‘You’re kidding yourself if you think you can continue to pull this off. On some level, she knows. She has to unless she’s asleep or just doesn’t bloody care what you do.’
There was a long silence which George finally broke. ‘Please. . .don’t do this Car, give me some time to figure things out. I know it’s difficult for you.’ His voice cracked.
Cara shut her eyes. She was shaking.
Hearing him use his pet name for her, made her want to cry.
A chill shot down George’s spine. He was miserable at the prospect of even one day without her.
I can’t lose her now I’ve found her.
‘Cara,’ he said.
She heard the pain in his voice and couldn’t bear for him to be so desolate.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ she said, barely able to push the words out.
I love you; you know that, but this has all happened so fast,’ he appealed.
‘Are you going to London to put distance between us?’
‘No, of course not. I have to go on business. I hadn’t planned it. I only found out I was going just before I told you.’
‘You make it sound as though it’s out of your hands.’
‘I often have to go to work at the other branches.’ He sounded miffed, like a sulky schoolboy being reprimanded.
Cara melted despite her resolution. There was something about him she could not resist. But it was no good. That’s why she was in this crazy mess. She mustn’t go soft now.
‘What does Joanna think about you going away indefinitely?’
He was quiet for a second. ‘I’m not sure. She’s used to it, I suppose. I go away a lot. We don’t spend much time together. Maybe she’ll come to the London flat at some point.’
‘Aha,’ said Cara.
‘Now you sound annoyed again.’ His tone was careful, his words measured.
‘No, I’m fine. Take your time and have a safe trip. I’ve got to go now. Client’s coming in a minute. Bye.’ She pressed the button to end the call. She couldn’t take anymore and was about to lose her composure. Tears flooded her eyes and spilt on to her hot cheeks. Her heart ached, and she longed to wail with grief. If her assistant weren’t next door, she would give in to the urge. She hadn’t wanted George to hear her that way. It wasn’t fair on him. He had enough to deal with.
I’m a wreck. This has got to stop. I have to get a handle on my emotions.
She’d been tearful ever since he had told her he was leaving York. Any little reminder set her off—she had seen a man who resembled him, laughing and holding a woman’s hand. It was becoming clear to her; she and George would never share carefree moments like that. At least not in this lifetime. It wasn’t on the cards for them.
