Page 13 of Be Your Somebody
We were fourteen. It was the day I won second place in a songwriting competition. I was so angry at him for submitting the song on my behalf. Granted, I wasn’t outraged, but I was more anxious. What if they laughed at me? What if they thought it was stupid? I know how people view Taylor Swift, so what if they think I’m like the Wish version of her?
My fingertips dance across the cold glass of the photo of us; my heart aches for the girl who was so obviously in love with her best friend. I glance closer at the image and what I notice takes my breath away. I’m smiling at the camera with my arm around Cas, but his attention is on me. He looks proud, but there’s another emotion I can’t place. My hand drops to my stomach in a poor attempt to keep the butterflies at bay. He’s everywhere in this room. These memories sit heavy on my chest, and I need to leave before second-guessing every decision I’ve made since Cas’ return. The door closes with a soft click, locking away those painful memories. They’re too much to deal with right now.
Today, I wanted nothing more than to run into Cas’ arms. To forget all the bullshit he put me through. Then he gave me that cocky smile on his face as he used my childhood nickname, and it had me boiling with anger. I couldn't let him off the hook. Ialwayslet him off the hook. Cas is good at many things, and being charming is one of them. I was in a constant state of disappointment every time I put his needs before my own. It was so easy to believe him when he said things were different. But when my therapist informed me about addict behavior, my entire perspective shifted.
So, as much as I wanted to let him back in when I saw him on my doorstep, I didn't. He has to show me he’s changed and working on himself. From what I witnessed the other day, he still has work to do. Despite his attitude during our conversation, when I looked into his eyes, I saw clarity. Yeah, I’m pissed at him, but I couldn’t help but feel joy that he finally got help.
The sound of the door opening pulls me from my thoughts and I see Bri walk in, followed by her brother, Max. Those two have been inseparable since they were little, practically doing everything together. I first met Max the summer after my second year of college. He drew me in with his dimpled smile, wavy, brown hair, and eyes like honey. He’s a year and half older than Bri and I, so naturally, my crush was instantaneous. Bri has always encouraged me to be bold, be brave. Well, I don't think she meant for me to do that with her brother. Our only intimate moment happened when Bri was at work. We were sitting next to each other one minute, and the next, I straddled his lap as we made out.
We were still going at it when Bri came home and caught us, and instead of getting mad, she laughed and said she called it from a mile away. Nothing ever really went anywhere with Max, but Bri brings it up any chance she gets. To this day, I don’t regret it. It made me feel powerful to take control sexually. Something I haven’t been able to do since.
I look at Bri’s face and know what she’s about to say before she even says it. “You remember Max, don't you, Avery? You should know him well, seeing as you had each other’s tongues down your throats.” She snickers.
“Yes, of course, I remember, but thank you oh so much for the reminder,” I say to her before turning to her brother. “Hi, Max. It’s good to see you.” I hug him, and in true Max fashion, he lifts me off the ground and spins me around.
“Hey, hot stuff,” Max says, eliciting a very high-pitched squeal laugh from me. When he places me back on my feet, he takes a moment to assess me from head to toe before smirking. “Looking good, Ave. Wanna recreate that moment? We can send Bri away to give us some privacy,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
I roll my eyes before I push playfully at his shoulders. “You can’t handle me, Max.” I laugh. “What are y’all doinghere?”
Bri holds up a giant takeout bag. “I thought the three of us could have dinner and plan on how you're going to handle this whole Cas thing,” she says.
“What Cas thing? Wait, who’s Cas?” Max asks.
Bri answers before I even open my mouth. “He’s Avery’s best friend, who she’s totally into.”
“I’m not into Cas, Brianna!” I shout.
“Yeah, okay,suuuure,” she says to me before returning her attention to her brother. “He’stotallyinto her, too. They got into this big argument and it got pretty heated.” Bri goes on to summarize everything that happened before I can stop her. Once Bri has set her mind on something, she won’t stop until she gets it.
It shouldn’t surprise me that Bri is as intuitive as she is. The girl has a sixth sense for this shit. The one thing she’s wrong about is that Cas feels the same. If he did, why would he have said all those things to me?
The sound of Bri clearing her throat brings me out of my head. I see both of them staring at me, waiting for an answer.
“What?” I ask.
“Did you hear anything we just said?” Bri asks.
“No, sorry, I was uh-I was in my head,” I admit.
“We asked you if you plan on talking to Cas anytime soon?”
“I'm not sure. I want to work on our friendship again, but a part of me is still hurt by what Cas did and said to me—not only recently, but all those years ago. My friendship and feelings don’t feel too important to him.” I shrug.
Bri and Max share a look before bringing their attention back to me with matching shocked faces.
“You're kidding me, right?” Max asks. “From what I just heard from Bri, the man is infatuated with you. He wouldn't have gotten so angry if he didn’t have feelings for you. My buddy, Asher’s brother, struggled with addiction. He told me just how awful it was to witness. They onlyjuststarted talking to each other a couple of years ago.” I notice Bri wince at the sound of his name, causing a smirk to spread across my face.
“Still have the hots for Asher, Bri?” I’m hoping to shift the focus toward her for a minute.
Bri shoots me a murderous glare before speaking through gritted teeth. “I donothave the hots for him. Don't try to change the subject.We’re talking about your relationship with Cas and how you two need to hook up already because it’s so obvious,” she says. Despite her dislike for Asher, I know there’s something there. Whenever they’re in the same room, the chemistry is so intense people can get secondhand horniness.
“Bri, you don’t know wha—" was all I managed to get out before being interrupted by a knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone today, so I’m confused as to who it could be. I start to get up, but Max places a hand on my shoulder, keeping me in place.
“I got this. You two keep talking about how you wanna hook up with your best friend and Bri wants to fuck mine,” he says, throwing a wink toward his sister. She growls and flips him off before he walks away.
I am arguing with her about not liking Cas in that way when I hear the sound of two male voices. Bri and I tiptoe towards the door, ready to intervene if necessary.
“Who the fuck are you?” says the man on the other side of the door. I don't have to guess who it is. Iknowthat deep voice. Cas.
