Page 16 of Be Your Somebody
Getting someone else's perspective on this situation would be nice. The only male friends in my past had substance issues like myself. Once I figured my shit out, they bolted. I don't know how to do the wholefriendthing, well, except for Avery, but I managed to fuck even that up.
“When I got home from treatment, I went to see Avery to fix our friendship. I—"
“Avery Douglas?” he interrupts.
“Yeah, how do you know her?” My voice comes out accusatory.
“Woah, man, chill. I don’t know her in the wayyou’reimplying. She’s just friends with my buddy’s sister. I haven't seen that woman in forever, though. She, uh, still friends with Brianna?” he asks, his tone wavering a bit.
“Uh, yeah. Bri looked like she wanted to punch me in the dick the last time I saw her.” I can’t help but chuckle at myself.
“Sounds like my bear—I mean, uh,Bri. ”His bear?Asher’s face is crimson. I’m guessing he didn’t mean to let that nickname slip. Interesting.
Asher clears his throat before asking, “So what did you do to cause Bri to go American Ninja Warrior on your ass?”
“Well, Avery and I fought, said some nasty things to each other.”
“Hmm,” was his only response. The silence between us became uncomfortable, so I forced myself to continue.
“Earlier today, I went over to apologize, but a man opened her door, catching me off guard. I was angry and demanded to see Avery, but this dude wasn’t budging. Eventually, Avery took over, but this asshole looked at me before kissing her cheek and going back into the kitchen. I walked off before she could confirm what I already knew,” I say.
“Which was?” he prompts.
“That she was dating someone. This Max dude looked like a wannabe Ken doll. It was awful,” I say, resting my head in my hands.
“Wait! Hold up, Max?” he asks.
“Yeah, why? You know him or something?” He looks at me for a minute before busting out laughing.
“The fuck? Why are you laughing at me?” I demand.
“Because-because,” he stammers while laughing. “That’s Bri’s brother you’re talking about,” he says, his laughter growing louder, pulling questioning stares from people throughout the bar. I offer them a tight-lipped smile before turning my attention back to Asher.
“And that's funny because?” I ask.
“Trust me, they aren’t dating. Avery’s like a sister to him,” he says while laughing and wiping tears from his eyes.
“Yeah, right. I saw how the man looked at Avery,” I said, but the tension eased out of my stomach like a balloon slowly deflating. Asher is a straightforward dude, so he wouldn’t lie about this, would he?
“Seriously, man, nothing’s happening. Max is theleastthreatening guy ever, so you have no reason to be jealous of him. I can’t wait to tell him you think he looks like a Ken doll wannabe.”
“Ugh, please don’t,” I groan. “Wait, I never said I was jealous.”
“You didn't have to. It's written all over your face. You got it bad,” Asher says, his tone matter-of-fact.
He excuses himself to return to serving other patrons, leaving me with my thoughts. I need to learn to get all the information before assuming. Regret hits me in the head with the same intensity as walking into a glass door.
Asher calling me out on being jealous has my guard up. Was I that transparent? I sure hope not, because if Asher could pick up on my feelings, Avery could, too. She can’t know how I feel. The possibility of her not returning those feelings would feel equivalent to shredding my soul to pieces. She wouldn't have written that goodbye letter if she had feelings for me, too.
Shit. Now, all I can think about are the emotions the letter evoked. Shame is a boulder inside my chest, refusing to budge. I missed many moments in Avery’s life because I cared more about myself. My insides twist together and my face feels hot. This is why I don’t do feelings, it’s too damn uncomfortable.
I should go home and sleep it off or call one of the referrals for therapists. But my need for a distraction still needs to be fulfilled as I sit here sober inside a bar. I tell myself to leave before I do something I’ll regret. Even though I just had water, I placed a ten-dollar bill on the bar and said my goodbyes. As I collected my things, Asher handedme a piece of paper with his and his brother’s numbers. It says I can contact either of them anytime. I thank him and make my way outside.
That's when I see a curvy woman with long, blonde hair that rests just above her ass. She's dressed in a short, red dress so tight her breasts are practically spilling out of the top. She has legs for days, amplified by her ankle-breaking, black heels. Her skin is tan and looks like silk. My gaze travels slowly toward her face where I see piercing blue eyes underneath long eyelashes. Her head cocks to the side, and her bee-stung lips curve into a sultry smile that’s inviting and dangerous. She’sexactlywhat I need right now.
“Hey, I’m Giselle,” she says in a smoky tone.
My gut shouts at me to get in my car and drive away. Everything about Giselle screams bad news, but I need something or someone to distract me from these feelings. “Cas. Listen, I'm going to be honest. I'm in a bad mood and need a good distraction. I'm not sure if you have a boyfriend or anything. But, if not, do you want to go for a ride? I don’t want any relationship. I’m just interested in one night. If you’re cool with all that, I’m this way,” I say, jerking a thumb toward my car.
