Page 39 of Be Your Somebody
“Shut up! You haven't? Like not even kissing?” My face must have said it all because she says, “You do like him, right? I mean, y’all practically eye fuck each other when the other isn’t looking.” She is completely gobsmacked.
“I do, I-I like him a lot. I mean, we’ve come close plenty of times, but neither of us ever follows through. It's not like we don't want to because we do. Well, at least, I thinkwe do. I knowIdo.”
“Well, how does he make you feel? And I’m not talking about emotions, but physically?”
“Bee.”Fuck, when did it get so hot in here?It feels like I ate an entire bag of flamin’ hot Cheetos.
“Aves.” She juts out her hip and quirks an eyebrow, waiting for me to answer.
I let out a groan before relenting. If I don’t, we’ll be here for ages. “He makes me feel erotically charged all the time. When he looks at me, my throat fills with dust and I just want to climb him like a tree. Does that answer your question?” I sass back.
“So pretty much he makes you horny and you wanna fuck like bunnies. Got it.”
“I didn’t say—ugh,yesthat’s exactly it. I wanna lick his abs and have him fuck me into next year.”
“Yes girl. Now, I believe my hot best friend has a date with her man tonight. I expect full details from start to finish—especially how many times you finish. If you know what I mean.” She wags her eyebrows at me and I roll my eyes at her.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, now get out of here. Cas should be here soon and I don't trust you to keep your mouth shut.”
“I am deeply offended you would think—Yeah, you’re probably right.” Bri takes her time gathering her things. She's stalling, so I take the liberty of picking up her stuff and throwing it at her before shoving her out the door. Her laughter fills the halls and slowly fades away as she makes her way outside.
Cas will be here soon and my stomach is doing a full out gymnastics floor routine. I stop when I start to wobble around, remembering my death trap heels. The last thing I need is to go to the hospital with a broken ankle. As the time inches closer to seven, I can’t help but feel that something’s wrong. Which is weird because nothing happened today to elicit such a feeling. I try to free my mind of the thought, but it's stuck like superglue. This is supposed to be a happy day, not a day of overthinking. Telling my brain to stop the negative thoughts is like telling a toddler no. You tell a toddler no, and they just do it, despite you while giving you a wicked grin.
It’s finally time, so I anxiously walk up to the door and peek out one of the large rectangular windows only to see an empty driveway. Cas is probably just running a few minutes behind. I try to shake off my concerns, telling myself there’s nothing to worry about. Yet part of me remains unconvinced. My footsteps echo as I walk over to my navy L-shaped couch and try to wait patiently. With each passing minute, my mind and body grow more nervous as the worst-case scenarios from earlier play through my head like a broken record. It’s now a quarter toeight. Worry and anger float around in my body, with anger taking the lead by a wide margin.
What the fuck. How can he just stand me up like this? He was the one who asked me out, not the other way around. If he didn’t want to go out with me or changed his mind, why not have the fucking decency to tell me instead of making me wait here like a damn fool? My anger grows with each thought. I have two options: keep waiting around letting my feelings fester or march up to his door and demand an explanation.
My feet have me up off the couch and out the front door before I realize what’s happening. I stomp my way over to his house and pound on his front door, ready to give him a piece of my mind. When he opens the door, the color completely drains from my face looking at his disheveled appearance. All my anger is replaced with fear.
Chapter 25
Avery
You are stained glass
Casstandsthere,butit feels like he’s lightyears away. My nerves from earlier reads a solid nine on the Richter scale.
“Cas, hey, what’s wrong?” Terror has my voice all wobbly and I’m practically shouting at Cas. It doesn’t matter, though, my words aren’t breaking through his trance.
I try again, but this time reach for his hand, desperate to break through his deadpan expression. “Cas? You’re starting to freak me out.” My touch only causes him to flinch so hard that I stumble back. I would have fallen on my ass if he didn't reach out to grab me. Cas blinks rapidly, attemptingto reacclimate himself to the present moment. When his eyes finally meet mine, he looks at me with a confused expression.
“Hey, Avery, what are you doing here?” His question has me flinching as if he slapped me. I mean, he texted me this morning about this date saying how excited he was. His words are a knife in my chest. What does he mean,what am I doing here? Hurt slams into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me. All of my earlier anxieties come rushing back. Clearly, he’s changed his mind, and instead of telling me, he stands me up. Despite my anger and confusion, there is a small part of my brain warning me to be gentle. That there’s more to the story. I must have been standing there parsing through my own thoughts for a while because he was staring at me like he was waiting for an answer.
“Huh?” I ask.
“I asked you what you’re doing here and why you look all dressed up?” Is he serious right now? Tears begin to sting behind my eyes. I won’t let him see how much this hurts, so I become angry, instead. My hands clench into fists, no doubt leaving half-moon crescents in my skin from my nails. My eyes blaze with irritation that he dares to stand there, looking dumbfounded. I should walk away and calm down before saying something I’ll regret, but I really don’t care right now.
“What am I doing here?You have got to be fucking kidding me.” My voice comes out in a humorless laugh. His continuous, blank expression only adds fuel to my fire.
“Well, Cas do you remember our conversation where you asked me out? A date you claimedto have been waiting forever for?” Things start to click for him, but I’m not finished.
“I—" he starts, but I hold my hand up and continue my rant.
I let out a frustrated sigh, swatting away that voice telling me to let him explain like a pesky fly. “Cas. I’m tired, and angry, and to be honest, a tad disappointed. I was so excited to go out tonight with you and even got all dressed up. Clearly the excitement is only one-sided because you would have shown up, instead of looking at me like I have three heads.” I start to walk away despite his attempts to get me to stay. I make it off the porch before turning around, needing to get this off my chest.
“You know, I get it if you thought I was what you wanted but ended up changing your mind. I know you’re still in the early stages of recovery and I would understand if you need more time. If you had communicatedanyof that to me,I would have been hurt, of course, but I would have given you time.” I give him a forced smile before turning around and walking away.
“Avery!” he shouts, but I pick up my pace, yearning for the safety of my bed so I can let it all out.
