Page 47 of Be Your Somebody
“They didn’t have a problem getting serious. It was me,” she says, looking up at me with vulnerability filling her eyes. Time stands still at her statement and my body feels like a statue.
What could she possibly mean byit was her? There’s nothing wrong with her. Why on Earth would she think that she’s the problem? A sharp pain radiates from my hands and that’s when I notice my hands are balled into fists.Breathe, Cas.The warmth of her hands over mine brings me back to her. My mouth opens, ready to tell her how special she is, but she shakes her head.
“There was only one person I wanted to get serious with,” she says, and if I wasn't already head over heels in love with this woman, this would have done it for me. I blow out a slow breath to calm my racing heart before bringing my hands to her shoulders and pressing a quick kiss against her forehead.
“There is only one person I want to get serious with, too,” I tell her before pulling her into a hug, desperately needing comfort. Her cheek rests on my chest while mine rests atop her head. Being in her arms feels safe.
“As much as I want to stay here with you like this, we should probably get going.” I reluctantly pull out of Avery’s arms, grab her coat off the rack, and place it on her shoulders. Her fingers interlace with mine as we make our way toward my car. Something she said earlier hits me.When we get home.That single statement sends comfort throughout my body and pleasant warmth in my chest. Avery is my home, and I will do everything in my power to prove to her that I can be hers, too.
Chapter 29
Avery
Date 2.0
Mystomachisfilledwith Pop Rocks, crackling with excited energy as we walk towards his car with our hands linked. My chest feels like it's about to explode just thinking about the flowers in my kitchen. They aren’t just any flowers, though. He brought me lavender lilies, my absolute favorite. The fact that he paid close attention to me causes heat to radiate between my legs. No one has ever paid that much attention to me, and if I let myself, I could get used to it.
As we approach the car door, courage overtakes me, and I spin around before he can open it and drag his lips to mine. My hands tanglein his hair as his hands grip my hips. The kiss deepens as our tongues come together in the most seductive dance. I tug on his bottom lip and my grip on his hair tightens. His fingers dig deeper into my hips, causing my dress to wrinkle. He pushes my back against the car door as I pull on his lower lip one more time, before my tongue travels along his jaw to his ear.
I lick, then bite his earlobe and whisper, “That was for the flowers.” I lower my mouth to his jawline, alternating quick licks and bites before pulling away. “And that was for always kissing me first. I figured it was my turn to play a little.” I give him a playful push before opening the car door. I slip inside and track his movement toward the driver's seat, a seductive smile on my face.
He turns towards me the second he’s in the driver’s seat. “Avery, if you hadn't stopped that, we would havenevermade it to the restaurant.” I stare at him for a minute before laughing, remembering what Bri said earlier. He looks at me with a perplexed expression, making me snort-laugh.Very attractive, Avery.
“What’s so funny?” he asks.
“When I was getting ready for the first date, well, the one that didn't happen, Bri told me to look good. Good enough that instead of going out to dinner, you would want to stay home and have somethingelsefor dinner.” I clasp my hands over my mouth in horror. Holy shit. I just said that out loud.I hold a breath waiting for his reaction, unsure what it will be, but then I hear him laugh.
“That sounds like something she'd say,” he says with a smirk and a wink.
Cas has one hand on the wheel, the other is gripping my thigh. His thumb strokes the sliver of bare skin, back and forth, and my body hums with pleasure. The silence is nice. I love how we don’t always have to fill the space with mindless chatter; we can just enjoy each other’s company. Still, there has been a question on my mind as of late.
“Hey, Cas?” I whisper.
“Yeah, baby?”
“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we dated all those years ago? Like, if we actually said how we were feeling?”
Cas purses his lips, pondering the question I asked. I almost want to take it back, but I remain silent.
“I don’t think it wouldhave worked out.” Cas’ answer, while expected, is still disappointing.
“Oh…” I respond.
“I was a mess back then. I wouldn’t have been the guy you needed and deserved. You and I are like a semi-colon. Back then, we put a necessary pause in our friendship. We didn’t know where we were headed or who we would be. If we got together back then, our story would have ended with a period. But because of you letting me go when you did, you added the little comma under that period. Because of you, our story was allowed to continue when it was the right time.”
Words don’t seem sufficient enough, so instead I lean over and give him a peck on the cheek. Cas really does say the sweetest things to me sometimes. When I pull back, Cas has an introspective look on his face that wasn’t there before.
“Cas, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just thinking of things.” Well, that was vague. Vagueness and my anxious thoughts have a toxic relationship, so I need to clarify things before I overanalyze.
“Bad things?” My voice rises with a note of panic. He must have heard it because he reaches for one of my hands, interlocking our fingers. He brings our joined hands up to his mouth for a quick kiss to reassure me.
“I promise, baby , they’re good things.” He pauses to look at me. “Very good things.” His eyes fall back to the road, but our fingers stay interlocked and rest on his thigh.
“So, you gonna tell me where we’re goingnow? Or will you keep it a secret until we get there?” I whine playfully.
“You’ll have to wait. We’re almost there, though, so you won't have to wait much longer.” With those words, I sigh and look out the window while the world softly blurs around me. It’s oddly warm this late in the evening, so our windows are rolled down just enough to allow in the natural breeze.
