Page 61 of Be Your Somebody
We park outside of Uncle Tito’s Taco Joint,a well-known taco joint that Avery and I used to frequent in middle school. We both order three carne asada tacos with everything on them plus chips and guac to share.
Avery digs in the second our butts hit the bench. This girl loves her tacos and always has. We eat silently while my mind races, hoping the plan is working. That feeling from earlier of someone watching me comes back. I attempt to block it out, but Avery catches on.
“Cas? Hey, what’s wrong?” Her voice is full of concern as she touches my arm.
“Nothing, baby. Everything is perfect.” My smile is extra bright. I feel like scum lying to her, but I can’t tell her what’s going on when I don’t understand what’s happening myself. I look at her and see her studying me intensely. I put my taco down and turned toward her. “Seriously, Aves. I promise everything’s okay.” I’m not doing a very good job of convincing her, so I change the subject instead. “There is something that’s been on my mind lately.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“I uh, well, you know I’ve been going to therapy. And, well, you know about my addiction issues. So, I thought maybe I can do something to help people?” I shrug, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. She just stares at me, mouth agape. “It’s probably a stupid idea. Forget I said it.” Externally, I’m cool, calm, and collected. Internally, snakes are slithering around in my stomach and threatening to squeeze around my lungs.
“Cas, no, it’s not. It’s—I think that’s a wonderful idea. Are you thinking like a counselor or something?”
I don’t respond to her questions. Instead, I lean down to kiss her like no one else is around. She resists at first, but eventually melts into the kiss, moaning when our tongues meet. I feel myself growing hard, so I pull back, not wanting to embarrass myself.
“Um, why-what-what was that for?” she asks. A blush spreads from her cheeks to her chest.
“For always believing in me. For seeing me the way I want to see myself. For just being you, Avery.”
“You're welcome." Her confident grin is contagious as I feel the corners of my mouth pull into a matching grin. How did I get so damn lucky?
“Yeah. I was thinking like a counselor or something. I want to make a difference in someone else's life."
“I know you can. You can do anything, and it makes me so damn proud to see you finally realizing your potential. I can’t wait for you to find your passion. For you it'll be helping people. And for me it’s helping animals. Does this make us some sort of power couple?"
I can't help but laugh. She's just so goddamn incredible.
"I guess so. How did you know you wanted to help animals?" I may be finding my passion later in life, but hearing her talk about hers inspires me to be better. To do better.
"I have my parents to thank for that. Despite their cat allergies, they loved animals. I mean, you remember when my dad and I would birdwatch. An activity you invited yourself to, by the way. Becoming a veterinarian wasn’t in the cards for me, I was still able to put my passion into a job. And soon enough, you'll be doing the same thing and I am so fucking proud of you." Her voice cracks on the last word and I know she’s fighting tears. I’m fighting back some of my own. We spend the rest of our time eating in silence.
“Thank you, baby, that means a lot. As for hijacking your birdwatching activities with your dad, it wasn’t about the birds. I didn’t give a damn about that. All I wanted was to spend time with you. I clung to you because being around you, I liked myself a little more. Being within your orbit made me feel worthy as opposed to worthless.” Avery’s face flushes and I lean over and kiss her cheek.
We clean up our spot, and as we throw away our trash, my anxiety comes knocking on my door like an unwanted visitor. This plan needs to go perfectly. I got a text while we ate that Asher had picked up the cat and was driving her to Avery’s.It’s now or never, Cas.
“Now, how about you show me that cat you love so much?” Her eyes light up and her smile is a mile wide. I school my facebecause I know when we get there, the cat won’t be there. She’ll be sad and heartbroken, but it’ll be worth it in the end, right?
She all but runs to the car, and we are off. The entire car ride is spent with Avery’s endless chatter about how amazing this cat is that I almost don’t hear the pinging of my phone. I assume it’s Asher saying everything is set, but when we pull into the place, there’s also a missed text from an unknown number. Why can’t he just leave me alone? Whatever, I’ll deal with that shit later. This moment is all about Avery, who’s already out of the car and bouncing on the balls of her feet in the parking lot.
I barely get out of the car before she grabs my hand and drags me into the shelter. We are greeted by a middle-aged woman with salt and pepper hair and turquoise glasses that have a matching chain attached. She greets Avery with a warm hug before turning to me.
“Hello, you must be Cas? Avery cannot stop gushing about you. I’m Tanya.” She sticks out her hand as if we don’t know each other. Technically, we don’t, as I’ve only talked to her on the phone. Bless this woman for pretending she’s never spoken to me before.
“It’s nice to meet you. We are here to see a kitten named Mauve.Avery showed me her picture, and I just needed to see her in person.” I grin at Avery, holding in my worry about what will happen.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, but that cat was adopted today. She’s going to a real nice couple.” I give this woman props. She looks genuinely heartbroken. Tanya deserves an Oscar for this performance.
“Wait, what? S-she wa-was ad-adopted?” Avery’s words come out choppy and full of sadness. I feel like an ass for making her feel this way, but that moment passes knowing what’s waiting for her at home. Still, nothing can prepare you for when the love of your life clutches your shirt in her hands while sobbing uncontrollably.
“Baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t think she’d be adopted. Why don’t we go home, get in our comfy pajamas, and watchHocus Pocus?That’ll make you feel better.” She’s still crying pretty hard, so she just nods her head.
On the way home, I hold Avery’s hand, listening to her soft sobs. I remind myself over and over that everything will be fine when she gets home. I pull into her driveway, but Avery is passed out from emotional exhaustion. I scoop her into my arms and enter her home bridal style while my camera bag hangs over my shoulder, heading up the stairstoward her room. She begins to stir in my arms, and that’s when the cat decides to let out the loudest meow I’ve ever heard.
Avery’s head snaps up, and she’s blinking rapidly, momentarily disoriented. The cat lets out another meow and Avery all but leaps out of my arms when she sees what’s sitting on her bed. I get my camera ready to snap the perfect photo as Avery stares at the tiny ball of fur on the bed. I can’t wait to add this final photo to her album. I checked earlier today and it said the package has been delivered and I’m grateful I spent the extra ten or so dollars to get same-day shipping.
“Cas! What. Is. That?” she all but shouts.
“That, Avery, is what we call a cat.” Avery's response is to roll her eyes at me before cocking a hip, looking at me with an are you serious expression.
