Page 71 of Under the Lights
The possibility that his emotions had gotten tangled up in their fling like hers had was terrifying. Her putting on a fake smile and waving good-bye to him was one thing. If he offered her more, it would be so hard to walk away. But not walking away would be messy and hard, and she wasn’t sure she was strong enough for that. The thoughts ran like circles through her mind, frustrating her and not bringing any clear answers.
Only when the annoying tone of her alarm clock woke her did Kelly realize she’d finally slept. Not long or well, judging by how groggy she felt, but she got out of bed and walked across the room to flip the switch on the clock. It was the only way she kept from hitting the snooze button multiple times every morning.
Parade day meant all hands on deck for the police department, which was all three of them. The chief always led the parade in the marked SUV Kelly usually drove, signaling the start with a blast of the sirens. Dylan would walk back and forth along the parade route, ensuring nobody got out of hand or strayed too far off the sidewalk. She was on traffic duty this year, which was her least favorite.
Because the Stewart Mills parade route included the short stretch of the state road that ran through town, it had to be closed off for the duration of the parade. She’d park Dylan’s sedan across one end with a sign explaining the brief closure, and then she’d stand at the other end with wooden barricades and another sign. Then she’d spend the entire parade listening to horns honk and people yell about how they had to be somewhere important.
Kelly showered and put on her uniform before braiding her hair, and then looked at herself in the mirror. She looked like crap. Her skin was pale and there were shadows under her eyes. And besides looking tired, she looked really unhappy.
Why was she doing this to herself? She was making herself miserable trying to fend off the possibility that she could end up miserable.
She was in love with Chase Sanders. That was the bottom line. It wasn’t an emotional tangle. It wasn’t slightly messy. It was the L-word. She loved him.
Bracing her hands on the cool vanity top, she closed her eyes and tried to get her head on straight. Chase liked her. He liked spending time with her and making her laugh. He’d been hurt when she carelessly laughed off whatever was between them as a fling.
If there was a possibility he loved her, she had to take the chance. So what if it was messy and hard while they sorted out how to make a future together? If they were meant to be, they’d get through it.
And if he didn’t feel the same way, that would hurt. But either way, letting Chase go was going to hurt. At least if he knew what he was walking away from, she’d never have to ask herselfwhat if?
Her mind made up, Kelly opened her eyes and took a deep breath. She even managed to smile at her reflection. After the parade was over and things had died down a little, she’d manage to find a quiet place to talk to Chase, and she’d tell him things had changed. She knew he had to go, at least for a little while, but she wanted him to come back to her.
19
Chase could only describe the parade’s staging area in the school parking lot as utter pandemonium. He wasn’t sure who would be watching the parade since it looked like most of the town’s population was actuallyinit. All of the band members seemed to be tuning their instruments with no rhyme or reason. There were antique tractors jockeying for position, and a horse that really didn’t seem to like people very much.
He could barely think straight, and he couldn’t imagine how the chaos was going to exit the parking lot in an orderly line in exactly fourteen minutes, according to the person running around yelling a countdown like it was a nuclear launch.
When he spotted Deck in the crowd, he made his way over. “Is it always like this?”
“Sometimes it’s worse. Trust me.”
“Where are we supposed to be?”
“Toward the back, on the big float. The kids will be in pickups behind us. Cheryl’s going to drive the wrecker up front so I can have my moment of glory, as she put it.”
“Who’s got the trophy?”
“Gretchen has it in her truck. Once we’re all on board and it’s time to take off, she’ll hand it up so we can wave it around. Don’t forget to smile.”
“Yeah.” Because smiling was just what he wanted to do today, when he’d be leaving Stewart Mills—and Kelly—in a few hours.
He’d already put his bags in his truck, telling the McDonnells he wanted to be home early the next day to help his sister out with something. He was pretty sure they both saw through the excuse, but neither called him on it. He’d find them after the parade and say a proper good-bye, though, because he couldn’t just disappear on them after they’d opened their home to him.
“Hey!” Jen ran up to them, looking frazzled. “You guys need to be on the float. We have to make sure the chairs all fit without any being too close to the edges.”
Chase did as he was told and made his way to the float. He stopped short when he saw it, and then smiled. Their championship banner had been taken down from the gym and was strung on what looked like clothesline above the chairs. Blue, white and gold balloons and streamers were attached to every possible surface of the trailer, as well as tied to the mirrors and antenna of Gretchen’s truck.
“That must be our ride,” Sam said, stepping up beside him. “Jesus, there can’t be a streamer left anywhere in the county.”
“They certainly know how to make a float.” He looked sideways at his old friend. “Does this feel as weird to you as it does to me?”
“Being celebrated as a hero by a town I’ve barely thought about in fourteen years because I came back, ate spaghetti and played a half-assed game of football?” Sam nodded. “It’s a little weird.”
As he watched the boys climb into the beds of the lined-up trucks—and waved to Cody, who’d spotted them—Chase knew they’d done more than that. They cared. And Sam, maybe more than any of them, should know that mattered. At first they’d come for Coach’s sake, maybe with a sense of obligation, but he knew they’d all come to care about the kids.
Gretchen stuck her head out the truck window. “I didn’t go through all this trouble to haul an empty trailer through town. Quit screwing around and get on the float.”
Once they’d all been seated—which required multiple adjustments to ensure everybody could see, be seen and wouldn’t fall off—Jen grabbed the trophy from Gretchen and handed it up to Sam. “Don’t drop it.”
