Page 82 of Hot Response
Then she turned and walked away, with Tony pulling the stretcher at her side. She wasn’t even sure she was going the right way, but it was a hospital. There were a ton of exits to choose from and she’d find the ambulance bay eventually. Or Tony would.
“I’m sorry, Cait,” Tony said when they were out of earshot. “He saw me and instead of walking away, he wanted to ask me how you’re doing. I lost it a little.”
“It’s fine. I just want everything to stay professional because we’re going to run into him sometimes and I just want to...”
The words died as her throat tightened around the knot of unshed tears. She just wanted to wake up and find out this entire mess was nothing but a nightmare and she was still in Gavin’s bed, with his body curled around hers.
When the seemingly endless shift was finally over, Cait turned down Tony’s invitation to join him and Rob and the kids for dinner in favor of going home, pulling her covers up over her head and crying some more.
But her mom gave her a long look when she walked in, and Cait’s heart clenched at the sadness she saw there. She didn’t have room in her life today for more pain—no matter whose it was. “You okay, Mom?”
“No, I’m not.”
Shit, please not today.Cait wasn’t sure she could take much more. “What’s the matter?”
“Let’s sit on the couch and talk for a minute.”
Cait wasn’t sure what to make of it, since if her mom was upset, there were usually tears by now. But her mom’s eyes were dry. “Where’s Carter?”
“He went to his friend’s for dinner. They’re having a barbecue just because it’s finally warm enough, according to them, and I said he could go because he needs to spend more time with friends.”
So it wasn’t about Carter. “What’s going on, Mom?”
“I talked to a family therapist today. I made some appointments.”
Cait felt her eyes widen. “What changed your mind?”
“You.” She said it so matter-of-factly, Cait recoiled. “I refused to see a therapist because I didn’t see anything wrong with not being able to let Duke go. But there is something wrong with not being able to letyougo and it cost you Gavin.”
The one-two punch of his name and the sudden tears in her mom’s eyes were almost Cait’s undoing.
She was tired of being strong. She was tired of people needing her. When was itherturn to go to bed and stay there for days, sobbing her heart out?
“You didn’t cost me Gavin,” she said. “I cost myself Gavin. And he cost himself me. We just aren’t ready for the same things and—”
“Youareready for the same things Gavin wants.I’mthe reason you think you’re not ready.”
“Mom, it’snotyour fault.”
“You need to go live your life, Cait. And I need to live mine.”
“Even if I packed my stuff and left right now, it doesn’t change what happened between Gavin and me, Mom.”
“Only if you get stubborn about it.” Her mom sighed. “Listen, honey. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s... Look at it like this. I’ve been swimming my entire life, but I almost drowned once and you pulled me out of the water. And now you’ve been swimming with me because I remember what it felt like to almost drown and having you rescue me. And you swim with me because you’re afraid I’ll almost drown again. But Icanswim, Cait. I won’t drown and I won’t take your brother down with me.”
Tears slid over Cait’s cheeks. “I know you can swim, Mom. And Carter can swim, too.”
“It’s time for you to go, honey. And I hope to God you can work things out with Gavin because he loves you and I know you love him. But even if you don’t, or if it takes a while to get back there with him, you need to go find your own happiness.”
Cait laughed through her tears. “Are you throwing me out?”
“Yes.” Her mom made a sound that was part laugh and part sob and reached for the box of tissues on the end table. “Not right this minute, obviously. But it’s time to start planning what you’re going to do.”
It was, and Cait knew it now, but she couldn’t picture herself moving on with her life without Gavin in it. It hurt too much to even try.
Her mom said it was time to find her own happiness, but Cait knew she’d already found it and she’d thrown it away. But she didn’t know if she had the strength to show up at his door again only to find out there was no chance of getting back what they’d lost.
* * *
