Page 20 of Under Control
He kissed me.
He has children and an ex-wife.
I don’t have time for a relationship right now.
I want him to kiss me again.
His having an ex-wife had thrown her for a loop. Hearing he had children had thrown her for a loop. And his kiss had definitely thrown her for a loop. Basically her emotional state was a bad carnival ride, and if she didn’t find a way to get off, she was going to make herself sick.
But when their eyes met across the room and she watched his face light up as he saw her, she was ready to hand over her ticket and get right back on the ride.
There was something about looking at him that made her breath catch in her chest. There were probably guys in the crowd around her who were hotter in a general sense, or younger or more what she’d always considered her type, but she didn’t care. Ever since getting stuck in the elevator with him, her type had been narrowed down to Derek Gilman.
Rather than just waving her over, he said something to the guy he’d been speaking to and started making his way through the crowd toward her. Since people kept trying to talk to him, she knew it would take a minute, so she opened the wallet case she’d put on her phone for the night while she waited. There was a donation bucket at the end of the bar and she reached between two customers to drop some cash in.
By the time she was done, Derek had reached her. “You made it.”
“I told you I would. This is quite a place.”
He looked around, and she could see the affection he had for it on his face. “Yeah. It’s a little worn around the edges, but it’s comfortable and homey.”
“Like a favorite old pair of jeans.”
“Exactly like that.” He gave her a skeptical look. “Are you telling me you not only have jeans, but have a favorite old pair?”
She laughed. “Of course I have jeans. And yes, a favorite old pair that are worn so thin in the butt and the knees that I’m afraid to wear them out in public without tights under them. Who doesn’t own jeans?”
His eyes dropped, sweeping over her pale blue, summer-weight sweater and black capris. She’d opted for black ballet flats over sandals tonight because she wasn’t sure what to expect as far as the bar atmosphere, but she wasn’t risking open toes.
“You just don’t strike me as a jeans kind of woman, I guess.”
It was a weird thing for him to say. “What does that even mean? Do you picture me running around doing errands and cleaning my apartment on the weekends in a skirt and high heels?”
She expected him to laugh, but he leaned closer so he could lower his voice. “When I picture you, you’re not doing errands or cleaning your apartment. Or wearing a skirt.”
Olivia’s cheeks flushed with heat—along with other parts of her body—but she didn’t look away. She just smiled and raised one eyebrow. “And the high heels?”
He blushed and gave her a sheepish grin, as if he hadn’t expected her to respond in such a direct way. “I do like the shoes. But I wouldn’t mind seeing you in those jeans, either.”
She usually only wore them in the colder months, but she’d make an exception if a little denim could keep that look in his eye. “Maybe.”
“I know they stocked up on the usual beer,” he said, holding up his half-full glass, “but I don’t know if there’s a wine list. To be honest, I don’t even know if they evenhavewine.”
“A beer is fine. Whatever you’ve got.” When his eyes widened, she laughed. “Yes, I drink beer. Not often, but on occasion. And one time, back in college, I even drank beer while wearing jeans.”
It was his turn to laugh, and more than a few heads turned at the sound. “I deserved that.”
Once he’d managed to push through the crowd at the bar to get her a beer, he nodded toward the back. “Jess and Rick are back there. And...well, pretty much everybody else.”
As much as she’d like to find a relatively quiet corner and have Derek’s company all to herself, this was a fundraiser, not a date. “Let’s go say hi.”
He led the way, and she said hi to Jessica and was reintroduced to her husband, Rick. There were so many names she knew she’d never remember them all, except maybe Aidan and Scotty, from the great elevator escape. Derek seemed to know everybody, of course, and when somebody yelled his name, he raised his hand in greeting.
And when he dropped his hand, it came to rest at the small of her back and Olivia felt as if she was standing at a crossroads. While Olivia only really knew Jess, these were Derek’s friends and coworkers and it was something of aclaiminggesture. Anybody looking at them would assume they were a couple, or on their way to being one.
Yes, they’d kissed. They talked on the phone every night this week. And she wanted him to kiss her again. But being an actual couple was a commitment and the part of her brain still embracing logic over libido shied away from that possibility.
She could stick to her carefully structured plan for herself and step away from his touch. Temptation didn’thaveto be acted upon, and often shouldn’t be. Or she could throw caution—and a lifetime of lessons learned—to the wind and lean in. Logically, she knew which was the right choice. She should move away.
