Page 56 of Under Control
But he couldn’t help but notice how at ease she was here. And as they walked home after dessert—and after a long argument over who was paying, which he lost—hand in hand, he wondered if she felt as out of place in his neighborhood as he did in hers. They lived in different worlds.
She’s out of your league.
He didn’t want those words in his head anymore because they weren’t true of Olivia. But if therewasa league, she played in the pros and he was minor league.
Chapter Fourteen
Derek was quiet when they got back to her apartment, which wasn’t really like him. He didn’t seem upset, really. Just lost in thought, but she couldn’t tell if they were good thoughts or bad thoughts. And she was a little afraid to ask and possibly spoil the night.
He hadn’t been happy about her paying for dinner, and she wasn’t sure what—if anything—to do about that. She not only didn’t expect him to pay for everything just because he was the guy, but she thought that entire way of thinking was outdated and stupid. And she wouldn’t be shy about telling him so if he tried it.
But the possibility had more to do with pride than being old-fashioned, and that was a far touchier subject. She wouldn’t have chosen that particular restaurant if she hadn’t assumed she’d be picking up the tab. It was overpriced, but it had good food and a really great atmosphere. She’d been there a few times with clients and she’d fallen in love with the place.
So she’d thought, maybe if Derekhadbeen about to tell her he loved her on the phone last night, that restaurant would be the perfect location for a conversation about how they felt and where they saw things going between them.
She hoped things were going someplace good. There was no denying their relationship was serious. And she’d met his kids and they didn’t hate her.
He walked to the living room windows, hands shoved in his pockets. “I still can’t believe this view. You have an amazing place, here.”
So itwasthe money, she thought. “Thank you.”
She wasn’t sure what else to say, since it wasn’t really her issue. The apartment was expensive. The restaurant had been expensive. She could afford them. If he was having trouble with that concept, he was going to have to come to terms with it because she wasn’t going to diminish herself or her accomplishments for the sake of his ego.
And she’d like to think it was more of an adjustment than a problem for him. While he obviously had his pride, she didn’t think he was the kind of guy who’d feel emasculated by a woman earning more money.
Then he turned away from the view to face her and his expression softened. “I was surprised by how much I missed you. Knowing you were that far away was tough on me.”
“I like knowing you missed me, because I missed you, too.” She crossed the room to him, and he pulled her into his arms as he always did. Any trace of what might have been bothering him was gone, and she relaxed in his embrace.
Now,she thought. If he’d been about to tell her he loved her on the phone and stopped himself, now was when he’d say the words and she desperately wanted to hear them.
She loved him—wasin lovewith him—and though she was fairly sure he felt the same way, until he said the words, she couldn’t be certain. If they were in love with each other, all of the doubts and obstacles could be overcome. She had to believe that.
His gaze held hers so intensely, she shivered in his arms. But when his lips parted, it was to kiss her and not to speak. She sighed against his mouth, trying to shove her runaway thoughts to the back of her mind and lose herself in the kiss.
He took her to bed and made love to her so thoroughly, she barely noticed when he got out of bed to dispose of the condom and turn off the lights. But when the mattress dipped again, she rolled into his arms. Morning was going to come early and she was exhausted, but she didn’t mind cuddling for a few minutes.
Derek kissed her forehead, squeezing her tight. “I know I should go because you’ve probably got a big Monday ahead of you, but I just want to hold you for a bit.”
And she wanted to be held, so she snuggled closer. “You were right when you said the distance made the missing harder. I felt far away from you.”
“Because youwerefar away from me. Having you in my arms is much better.”
I love you, Derek.She could say it. She could be the one who stepped out on that cliff, hoping he’d catch her.
But she’d been so certain he was going to say it tonight and the fact he hadn’t held her back. Maybe she’d been wrong about his feelings for her—although she didn’t think so—or maybe he just wasn’t quite ready. And if he wasn’t ready, she didn’t want to put that pressure on him.
Either way was scary, and she was still agonizing over whether or not to say the words when she drifted off to sleep.
The alarm going off startled her awake, but when she reached for it, she was stopped short by the fact her hair was trapped under Derek’s arm. He stirred, releasing her, and she slapped her hand down on the off button.
They’d both fallen asleep, and it was Monday morning. Getting the day off to a good start set the tone for the week, and she usually got up and hit the ground running.
“Five more minutes,” Derek muttered, and then he pulled her back into his arms. He was snoring again within seconds.
Olivia smiled and allowed herself to relax her head on his shoulder. This really wasn’t a bad start to the day, either. Maybe not as productive as getting ready for work, but definitely more enjoyable.
“Hey, Olivia, are you sick?”
