Page 15 of Feels Like Christmas
“Yeah. And Nola needed to help Rosie, so now I’m killing time until supper. Did you talk to Charlotte?”
“Only for a few minutes. Her mom’s making her teach her young cousins how to make paper snowflakes.” She sat up on the bed, sitting cross-legged in the middle of the mattress. “She said I’m better at it than her so it wasn’t fair I got out of it, and we both laughed, but I know she misses me. And I miss her and I feel bad because she really wanted me to go with her.”
Ian walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. “I feel bad I messed up your plans. If I’d known Charlotte asked you to go home with her for the holidays, we could have come up with another way to do Christmas.”
“And risk you and Jacob coming here alone and getting lost without me to make sure you don’t go off-trail?”
“We would have been okay.” He grinned. “Probably.”
“I know you would have been okay with me spending Christmas with Charlotte, but Iwantedthis trip. And I’m going home with her in June for her brother’s wedding, so I’ll be meetingallof her family then.”
“We’ve met her parents and her brother. And you’ve met her grandparents.” He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, Maddie.”
“I think we’re going to get an apartment off campus together next year.”
Ian’s heart clenched—he was happy for her and excited to watch her make a life for herself, but she was still his little girl. “I hear a littlebutin your voice. Do you feel ready for that?”
“I do. Honest. But it’s also kind of scary. I mean, look at you guys. You’dmadeit. You were married forever and then just…” She stopped and picked at the side of her thumbnail until he took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers.
“There are no guarantees, honey. There’s no point where you can sayokay, we made itand stop having to work on your relationship. But your mom and I had a lot of happy years together. We shared a lot of joy and we got each other through some really hard times. Most importantly, we got you and your brother out of it.” He nudged her with his shoulder. “We reached a point where we went our separate ways, but I can’t even quantify what we would have lost if we hadn’t taken a chance on each other. I have no regrets, even though it didn’t turn out the way I thought it would.”
“I do love her,” Maddie whispered.
“Then all you can do is take that leap.” She nodded, but he could tell by the sigh that she wasn’t convinced. “I know it’s scary, but just ask yourself if taking the leap scares you more than spending the rest of your life without her, wondering what could have been if only you’d taken the chance.”
“Wow. You’re getting pretty wise in your old age,” she teased, nudging him with her elbow.
“Remember that next time you want to disagree with me and maybe tell your brother. Also, I’m nowhere near old age.” And of course, because he’d said that, he had to hide the wince from the twinge in his back, probably caused by helping Jacob get his snowmobile out of a drift he’d tried to boondock his way through earlier.
But once he was back in his room and had nothing left to occupy his mind but thoughts of seeing Nola at supper, he didn’t feel old at all. If anything, he felt like a teenager who couldn’t concentrate on algebra because he was thinking about seeing his crush at lunch.
Considering how often they were interrupted around here, he wasn’t far from slipping her a note asking her to meet him in the barn for a kiss.
They’d eaten slightly laterthan usual, thanks to Rosie dropping one of the sheet pans of bread slathered in butter and garlic she’d had under the broiler. Despite multiple assurances that regular bread and butter would be just fine, she’d insisted on broiling up more. And of course it had to be a night when they had more sledders come in off the trails than usual—probably because Andy had mentioned in a trail update on Facebook that Rosie was making lasagna.
As busy as she was, Nola barely got to speak to Ian at all. There were a lot of glances, a few seconds of eye contact and the occasional smile, but it wasn’t enough. More than anything, she wanted everybody to find somewhere else to be so she and Ian could curl up on the couch in front of the Christmas tree and talk. Maybe make out a little. Definitely more kissing than talking.
Luckily, the crowd didn’t linger. The temperature was dropping pretty rapidly, so the folks who’d wandered in for the lasagna didn’t stay long. A group of guys who’d seriously underestimated time and distance were exhausted, so Rosie checked them into the recently vacated bunk room and they were winding down with a few beers. The older couple who were staying for the weekend—the Hendersons—had arrived in time for dinner and were relaxing with a cocktail. Ian’s kids were playing cribbage at one of the tables, and Rosie was still cleaning up.
When Ian got up from his table and started toward her, she felt the familiar rush of anticipation of hearing his voice. She would have thought it would have faded after the initial physical attraction, but it wasn’t fading at all. If anything, the more she got to know him, the more she craved him.
“I can see why they needed a little extra help,” he said as she pulled out a glass to make his vodka soda. “Tonight was really something.”
She laughed. “The fun part is that we know how many guests the lodge has, but we never know how many people are going to come in off the trails looking for a meal, if any at all.”
“How does Rosie manage that, with the cooking and all?”
“She’s been doing this long enough so she has a feel for when it might be busy. And anything leftover becomes lunch the next day or frozen for reheating if we get taken by surprise. We did get caught out one time last year and ended up serving soup and sandwiches by the end of the night.”
“Did I hear the groomer go out a little earlier?”
“Yes, Josh and Andy are out.” She’d been around the lodge long enough to not be surprised when the two men started putting on their coats and boots as soon as they’d finished their dinner. And she’d also seen the Thermos Rosie handed Andy when she kissed him goodbye. They were going to have a very late night.
“It’s supposed to be wicked cold tomorrow,” she told Ian, “so if they don’t groom tonight, the ruts and whoops are going to be set in until we get another decent snowfall and there’s nothing in the forecast until after Christmas.”
“We’ll definitely appreciate it when we hit the trails.”
“Oh damn. I don’t have the seltzer. And I’ll need a fresh bottle of rum, too. Josh or Andy always carry the boxes upstairs for us, but I must have forgotten to put it on the list.” She sighed and looked around to make sure she wasn’t missing anything. “I’ll go run and grab it and be right back.”
