Page 25 of Feels Like Christmas
With no other guests besides the Emerson family remaining, Rosie had made a smaller dinner when they came in from the trails and then roped Jacob and Maddie—and Nola, of course—into being a part of her holiday prep. Ian had to admit it had been fun watching his kids helping her wrap gifts and checklists, but when they’d moved onto candy-making, Ian had gone to his room to take a short nap.
Apparently the nap hadn’t been as short as he’d intended, because it had been long enough for everybody else to go to bed, apparently. He hadn’t even heard Jacob enter the room. Now the house was dark and silent. All he wanted to do was grab some water to take back to his room without waking anybody else up, but that was easier said than done. His phone’s flashlight function kept him from walking into things, but there was no app that could map out the creaky spots in the floor.
Once he’d poured himself a glass of water, he didn’t turn around and creep back to this room. Instead, he pulled out a chair—lifting it slightly so it wouldn’t drag—and then sat at the small table he imagined the family used when they didn’t have guests.
As the minutes ticked by, he felt more and more ridiculous. Nola was probably asleep, and one thing he wasn’t going to do was wander through a dark, unfamiliar house looking for Nola. He was pretty sure he remembered which room was hers, but he’d been a little distracted last night and being wrong could be a disaster.
And even if Nola wasn’t asleep and had heard him downstairs, what was he hoping would happen?
He couldn’t stay. He couldn’t ask her to leave. Sitting in the dark with her, knowing in less than twelve hours he’d be saying goodbye to her wouldn’t help. Maybe in the morning he could find a few minutes alone with her and find the right words to let her know how very much he didn’t want to leave her—to see if maybe they could try to stay together long distance until they could figure out a way to be together.
He wasn’t sure how long distance would work. Five hours was a lot of driving, and they both had busy lives. And it just wouldn’t be the same.
After one of the worst night’s sleep he’d ever had, Ian awoke to the sound of vehicle doors slamming. Jacob was awake, but still in bed, so it wasn’t his kids getting a head start on packing the truck. Then he heard voices filling the lodge and sighed. He couldn’t be sure, but it sounded a lot like family arriving for the holidays.
Over a quick breakfast, Ian learned the newcomers were Josh’s sister and her husband and kids, who’d shown up in anticipation of their brother who lived in New Hampshire arriving with his wife and family. The lodge was about to fill up and they didn’t make Ian feel as if it was time for the Emersons to get out of the way, but everybody was very busy suddenly and he barely got to see Nola, never mind talk to her. At one point he spotted her taking bed linens downstairs and he was about to sneak into the basement when Josh saw him and offered to help him load the sleds into the trailer.
It was Rosie who went over the final accounting with him, making sure he agreed with the list of charges to his room, and then she gave him a warm smile.
“I really hope we’ll see you again,” she said, and there was something about the way she said it that made him feel as if she meant as more than just a customer.
“I hope so, too.” Then he cleared his throat and tried to get his footing back. “We had a wonderful time here. Jacob’s already talking about coming back next year, so I’m sure we’ll see you again.”
When he walked into the living room, he saw Nola saying goodbye to Jacob and Maddie. She hugged each of them, and he could hear her telling them how much she’d enjoyed spending time with them.
Then she saw him and his heart pounded painfully in his chest as he made his way to her. He wanted to grab her and hold her close and never let her go, but people were coming and going and a couple of children ran through the room, so he told himself he would give her a quick hug and then walk out the door.
But her fingertips bit into the small of his back and he heard the ragged breath she took as she buried her face against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and couldn’t stop himself from holding her closer than a polite goodbye hug called for. Lowering his head, he pressed a kiss against the side of her neck, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds.
“Jackson, watch where you’re going,” he heard Josh’s sister say just before a small child plowed into his legs.
He released Nola, and even though she was still standing right there in front of him, he felt the loss of her like a blow to his core. After making sure Jackson was good, she looked into Ian’s eyes and took a deep breath.
“It’s been a fun week,” she said, and he wondered if the tinge of sadness in her smile was just wishful thinking on his part.
“Nola, I—”
“Dad!” Jacob was yelling to him from the open front door. “There’s a car coming up the driveway and with the trailer hooked up, our truck’s blocking everything.”
“I have to go.”
She nodded, giving him the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. “I hope you have a good Christmas, Ian.”
He didn’t want it to end this way. “I…”
“Dad!”
Hehadto go. “Goodbye, Nola.”
It took him two tries to get the key into the ignition of his truck, and he hoped the bickering between his kids drowned out the slight rattle of the keys as his hands shook. After buckling his seatbelt and putting the truck in gear, he grasped the steering wheel and forced himself to take his foot off the brake.
He was halfway down the drive when he looked in the rearview mirror. All he saw was the massive trailer, and he figured that was for the best. If he’d been able to see Nola—if she’d maybe stepped onto the porch to watch him drive away—he might have stopped.
Leaving her is a mistake.
“Are you okay?” Maddie asked as he pulled onto the main road.
No, I’m not okay.“Of course. We had a lot of fun this week.”
