Page 10 of Through The Rain
It seemed incredible to her that she could hurt this man so deeply by ending their marriage and that he would still want her. If he loved her so much that his desire for her could withstand that, why couldn’t he have shown her that before she gave up?
“I was only twenty-four years old the last time I kissed a woman who wasn’t you, Emily. And it wasn’t because I had a ring on my finger, either. That had nothing to do with it.”
“Having a ring on your finger probably had something to do with it.”
“If I wanted to kiss another woman and this ring was stopping me, I would have taken it off when you took off yours.” She didn’t miss the shadow that passed over his expression when he said that. “But it wouldn’t matter if I had taken it off because it’s not about the ring. It’s about you.”
Emily had seen enough movies and read enough books to know sex with your ex was a really bad idea.
She didn’t care. For the first time in her life, there was no past and no future. She let it all go. There was only this moment and she stared into Scott’s eyes, letting the love she saw there push away every doubt and fear.
She reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt in her fist, hauling him close. It was her mouth claiming his this time, and he lifted her off of her feet, holding her to his body.
Everything was in that kiss—the longing and the love and the emotional storm the evening had been. With her arms wrapped around his neck, she reveled in holding Scott close as he nipped her jaw and kissed his way down her neck.
He was moving now, and she held tight. She didn’t allow herself to think as he set her down on the mattress. She pulled his shirt over his head, wanting her hands on his naked skin, and he moaned as she ran her hands up his back, pressing so hard her fingertips were indenting his flesh.
Scott took his time stripping her clothes off her. After so many years together, they knew how and where to touch each other. He knew that his mouth on her nipples might work for him, but did little for her. A kiss on the inside of her thigh, just above her knee, would drive her out of her mind, though. And she knew a kiss just below his Adam’s apple or her hand fisted in his hair would make him groan with pleasure.
When he finally settled between her thighs and filled her, a single tear leaked into her hairline. She loved this man so much. She didn’t want anybody else to touch her like this. She never would. It was only Scott.
When they were sated, his face pressed to her neck, she closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his back so he couldn’t roll away. He would eventually. They didn’t sleep like this. And she should get up and turn the lights off, at least.
But not yet. Right now, she was as content as she’d been in a very long time, and she wasn’t ready to let that feeling go quite yet.
Tomorrow would come soon enough, and in the light of day, she would have to figure out what she wanted the rest of her life to look like. She loved him still, but she’d loved him the day she’d told him their marriage was over, so love alone wasn’t enough. And he still loved her.
But one night of baring themselves emotionally and physically didn’t mean anything had changed. There was no way to know, with Scott’s muscles relaxing and his breath against her skin slowing as he slipped into sleep, if telling him she wanted a divorce had been a mistake.
Or if tonight was the mistake—if sharing their feelings and her bed weren’t enough to overcome the distance that had ended their marriage, and her heart was going to break all over again.
* * *
For the first time in three months, Scott woke to a day that didn’t feel bleak and empty. His wife’s naked back was warm against his and the bottoms of her feet were pressed against his calves. She still snored softly, and he smiled as he closed his eyes against the dim light from the rising sun.
He wasn’t foolish enough to believe their marital dragons had been slayed by one honest conversation and a night of great sex, but there was hope. He still loved and wanted her. She still loved and wanted him. It was a start.
He must have drifted off again, because the next time he opened his eyes, the sun was bright and Emily’s side of the bed was empty. And he smelled coffee.
She wasn’t a morning person and rarely got out of bed before him, and his stomach knotted as he imagined her waking up next to him and being filled with regret. He really hoped not. He clung to the chance that, after three months of sleeping alone, having him in her bed again had allowed her to sleep more deeply.
When he rolled onto his back, folding his hands under his head to lift it, she was setting out the coffee cake. And she was humming, which was a good sign. It was something she only did when she was in a good mood, and though he couldn’t identify the song, it sounded upbeat.
Emily took a sip of her coffee and turned her back to him. She gathered the few dishes they’d used last night and started running the water. He assumed the fact she was waiting for him before eating a slice of coffee cake was a good sign, and he slid out of the bed to pull on the boxer briefs from the pile of clothes on the floor.
With his heart hammering in his chest, Scott walked up behind her and placed one hand on her hip. With his other hand, he hooked his finger behind the curtain of her hair so he could pull it to one side, pressing his lips to the soft spot below her ear. He wrapped both arms around her waist and buried his face in her neck as he held her close. He heard the water stop running and she leaned back against him. Her hands were still damp when she pressed them over his.
Time and the rest of the world ceased to exist as Scott held his wife.
It was something he used to do all the time. Coming up behind Emily while she washed dishes or folded laundry, he’d kiss the back of her neck before wrapping his arms around her. He wasn’t sure when he’d stopped, but it was something he definitely should have been doing more often.
She straightened. “Go get cleaned up and I’ll make you breakfast.”
“Mmm.” He kissed the side of her neck again. “If you tire yourself out slicing that coffee cake, we might have to take a nap.”
She swatted at him, and they both laughed as he walked to the bathroom. Even though she was in good spirits and hadn’t tried to pull away from him—physically or emotionally—he wasn’t sure he’d be able to relax until she asked him to move back home again.
He couldn’t shake the fear that she wouldn’t. Maybe the fact he’d finally broken down some walls and let her see how wrecked he was wouldn’t be enough. Or sharing one night of the kind of passion they hadn’t shared in years. But he didn’t want to push. If Emily did ask him to come home, it would be because she’d had the space to decide if it was what she really wanted.
