Page 34 of My Trainer Neighbor
"Sarah did."The words came out before I could stop them."She needed stability.A man with a plan.A future she could count on.And I gave her none of that."
Nicole's eyes widened slightly."What happened?"
"She left while I was deployed.Said she couldn't do it anymore.Couldn't wait for a man who didn't know where he'd be in six months.Couldn't build a life with someone who had no real home."I swallowed hard."She said I wasn't enough.And she was right."
"Shawn—"
"And you're just like her."The admission hurt coming out."Driven.Ambitious.With your whole life planned out.You need someone stable.Someone who can give you forever.And I'm living in my brother's apartment with no permanent address and a bunch of freelance clients.What the hell do I have to offer you?"
She stared at me, and I could see her processing this.Realizing that I was just as scared as she was.That I had just as many reasons to run.
"Then why are you here?"she asked.
"Because I can't stay away."I leaned down until our foreheads were touching."Because you're brilliant and beautiful and strong as hell.Because any man would be lucky to have you.Because I'd rather try and fail than spend the rest of my life wondering what we could have been."
"What if we both fail?"
"Then at least we'll fail together."I pressed a soft kiss to her lips."Let me help you, Nicole.Let me hold you.We don't have to figure out forever tonight.We just have to figure out right now."
"I don't know how."
"Start by letting me hold you."
She nodded, and I pulled her into my arms.She melted against me, her body finally relaxing as she let me support her weight.
"I'm sorry," she said against my chest.
"For what?"
"For being a mess.For pushing you away.For being scared of something that feels this good."
"Don't apologize for being human, baby."I tightened my arms around her."And don't apologize for being scared.This scares the hell out of me too."
We stood there in her destroyed living room, holding each other while she cried out months of suppressed emotion.And for the first time since Sarah had left, I didn't want to run.
I wanted to stay and fight for this.For her.For us.
Even if I had no idea how to make it work.
Even if I was just as scared as she was.
Even if I might not be enough.
