Page 29 of My Trainer Neighbor
Four months.That's all I had.Four months before Justin came back and Shawn moved on to whatever came next.Four months before this ended and I was left picking up the pieces of whatever this was turning into.
I pulled up my calendar on my phone.Every day color-coded.Every meeting blocked out.Every goal tracked and measured.This was my life.This was what mattered.Not some temporary fling with my neighbor who'd be gone before spring.
My chest ached.
I'd spent one weekend with him and I was already thinking about his departure date.Already calculating how much it would hurt when he left.Already feeling the loss of something I shouldn't have let myself have in the first place.
This was exactly what I'd been afraid of.
I opened my laptop and started responding to emails, forcing myself back into work mode.Back into the Nicole who had control.Who didn't need anyone.Who certainly didn't spend entire weekends in bed with a man who was going to leave.
By the time I finished, it was after midnight.My eyes were gritty with exhaustion, but I felt more like myself.Grounded.Focused.
Alone.
My phone lit up with a text from Shawn.
You okay?You left in a hurry.
I stared at the message.Three little dots appeared, then disappeared.Then appeared again.
Sleep well, beautiful.See you Monday for our session?
Monday.Our training session.Back to professional.Back to keeping boundaries.
Back to protecting myself before this went any further.
Yes.6pm works,I typed back, then added,Thanks for the weekend.
Thanks for the weekend.Like he'd given me a nice dinner, not multiple orgasms and the first real intimacy I'd felt in years.
I hit send before I could overthink it.
His response came immediately.Just the weekend?
I turned off my phone without answering.
***
MONDAY'S TRAINING SESSIONwas torture.
I showed up in my workout clothes, hair pulled back, face carefully blank.Professional.Distant.Like I hadn't spent Saturday night with his face between my thighs.
"How was your weekend?"Shawn asked, his voice casual but his eyes searching my face.
"Fine.Productive."I set down my water bottle."Should we start with stretching?"
Something flickered across his expression, but he nodded."Sure.Let's stretch."
We went through the session in near silence.Every time his hands touched me to adjust my form, I felt my resolve weaken.Every time he looked at me like he was trying to figure out what had changed, I wanted to explain.
But I didn't.I couldn't.
Because if I started talking about it, I'd have to admit how much I already needed him.How much it was going to hurt when he left.How scared I was of feeling this much for someone who was temporary.
"Same time Wednesday?"he asked when we finished.
"Actually, I might need to reschedule.Work is crazy right now."
