Page 2 of Sean
Perfect.
Sean hurried down the hall.The quicker he answered the summons, the better.He could find his pacifier, change his diaper, or get him a fresh bottle.Anything to get him back to sleep so he could clean up the mess in the living room without the help of inquisitive little hands.
He stepped into the night-light-lit room.“I’m here, buddy, what’s wrong?”
Jace stood in the crib, feet spread, chubby hands clasped around the railing for balance, bouncing in place.“Da Da Da.”
One sniff was all it took to answer thewhat’s wrongquestion.“Jace Alexander Conklin, what’s up with that?”
The baby leaned into the railing and held out his hands.“Da.”
Sean had hoped to preserve the darkness that would convince his son to go back to sleep.One more failed wish for the evening.He turned on the overhead and lifted Jace out of the crib.On the changing table the boy blew bubbles, chattered happily, and squirmed under Sean’s restraint.
Once the job was done, Sean used a wipe on his hands, located the pacifier in the middle of the blankets, laid his son down, and patted his back.Experience told him it wouldn’t be that easy, but it was worth a try.
“Up.”
“Sleepy time, bud.”
Jace pushed the pacifier out of his mouth and puckered his lips.
Sean tucked the blanket around him and hurried to turn off the light.Outraged wails followed him back to the living room.
Sean scrubbed his hands down his face.Jace had been sleeping through the night for months.For some reason this week had been different.Could he be picking up on Sean’s agitation at the upcoming anniversary?
He sank into the sofa trying hard to ignore the crying from the other room.Maybe he was as much a failure at fatherhood as he’d been a minister and a husband.He reached for the phone.Maybe all he needed was someone to talk sense to him.Maybe he needed more in his life than a new Christmas tree.His fingers hovered over the screen.
Maybe he needed the help he’d been running from for months.
Nomaybeabout it.He punched the button and connected the call he’d ignored earlier.
“Sean.”
His emotions crumbled at the sound of her voice.“Mom.”
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
And there was Mom and that sixth sense.On top of her game and ready to go to battle for those she loved.Knowing without knowing that he needed to hear her voice.Right now, he needed so much more than that.He swallowed his tears and his pride.“Is that offer of my old room still available?”
“Oh, my baby, of course it is, and Benjamin’s will be a perfect nursery.”
Sean flinched at the mention of his twin.Benjamin, the golden child.Benjamin and Kinsley, building the perfect life that Sean used to dream of.His brother would never run home to Mom and Dad.
Sean wasn’t like him.Or Dad.He’d never seen himself as the weak one.One more revelation to add to this red-letter year.
“How soon can we expect you?”
Sean took another look around the duplex, overwhelmed by the vision of Brittany in every corner of every room.
Laughing while they shared a meal at the coffee table while watching a favorite movie.
Her eyes wide with wonder as she held up the positive pregnancy test.
The determination on her face as she followed his mom’s recipe for the dessert he loved.
He closed his eyes.It wasn’t the tree, it wasn’t even the daily uncertainty of raising Jace on his own.It was the memories and the knowledge that the future that he and Brittany had planned was gone.If he didn’t make a change, he was going to go crazy.“As soon as we can get there.”
“Your job—”
