Page 42 of Sean
The answer didn’t matter.Either way, Monica was likely to come out the loser.She was tempted to rip the picture in half and toss it into the trash can.Instead, she folded it to her chest.It might be the only evidence she’d ever have that dreams might really come true.
With a huff of breath, she placed the picture back on the nightstand and gave up thoughts of missing morning service.She could hear her dad’s voice in her head.
“Girl, how you feel is secondary to the needs of others.It’s only in meeting those needs that we find fulfillment for ourselves.Now pick yourself up, put a smile on your face, and do what needs doing.”
Bobbie’s voice followed close behind.
Monica is our resident superwoman.She always goes the extra mile and takes on the projects no one else has time for.
She flopped back on the bed.What would it feel like to be selfish for one day?To put all the projects and jobs on hold and do something wild and crazy for herself.Something like missing church when her heart ached with a sadness she hadn’t been prepared for.Would it really be so bad to fill a bathtub with hot water and bubbles, light a couple of lilac candles, and let her tears fall?
Monica got to her feet.She’d never know the answer to that question because that was laziness talking, and her dad hadn’t raised a slacker.
***
AS THE SUN ROSE OVERGarfield, Sean stared at the same ceiling that he’d been staring at all night.He listened as the house slowly awakened around him.Dad’s shower came on.Jace jabbered across the hall.Mom’s soft footsteps and gentle voice carried from the hall as she went to get the baby.He wasn’t being lazy.His mom had taken over morning baby duty in the days since he’d been home.There were times he missed that early morning interaction with his son, but today he was grateful for Mom’s presence.
His watch beeped to remind him of the time, and he sat up slowly, groggy from the sleepless night.When he’d been a boy and the preacher’s kid, missing church took an act of Congress and either blood, vomit, or a temperature above one hundred.Now that he was a grown man, he figured he could do what he wanted.
What he wanted was to lie in bed and feel sorry for himself.He figured if anyone was entitled, he was.But his words to Benjamin about respecting his parents remained true.He’d respect them and the sham of their religion for as long as he lived in their home.He intended to change that living arrangement as soon as possible.
His sleepless night hadn’t gone to waste.He’d managed to come to some conclusions about his life.He needed an apartment so that he and Jace could begin the process of rebuilding their lives.Having Mom and Dad around to spoil the baby was a great thing—and part of the reason he’d moved back to Garfield.But the main reason behind the move remained Sean’s need to find a place where he could stand on his own two feet.
He planned to call the real estate agent first thing in the morning and finalize the rental he’d looked at yesterday.
Ubering provided a nice part-time income, but his savings wouldn’t last forever, especially after paying rent.He had a second interview tomorrow afternoon with a marketing firm, and even though the job wouldn’t start until mid-January, he’d take it if they offered it to him.He was ready.
And then there was Monica.
Last night had proven to him that he could not continue to spend time with her, even as a friend.One of them was going to get hurt, which wasn’t what he wanted.In the long hours of the night, he’d developed a sketchy plan.If he saw her at church—and he was sure he would—he would treat her with the politeness she deserved.After all, he’d been the one to kiss her, not the other way around.Until he got a full-time job, he’d continue to Uber and ignore anything that came through with her name or address on it.And even though his brother would call him a quitter, Sean had no intention of continuing to train for the marathon with the group.There were other places he could run where he wouldn’t run into Monica.
Sean closed his eyes.None of those things made him happy.Monica’s smile and laughter had lodged under his skin.Maybe in another time or place they could have been more than friends, but for now, he had to maintain some distance between them.She made him want things that he’d never have again.His life with Brittany had been as close to perfect as any two people could have.The thought that he could replicate that relationship with another woman was a fantasy he needed to put an end to.
The end started today.
***
MONICA STRODE INTOGrace Community’s nursery almost an hour early, her arms loaded with freshly laundered and folded receiving blankets, crib sheets, and other nursery essentials.Part of being in charge meant the laundry for the area was her responsibility.She placed her load on a small table and turned to survey the room.The ladies had left it in immaculate shape after last week’s services, and she was incredibly grateful for their stewardship.It was one less thing on her plate.
She tucked the laundry into the corner cupboard, checked their supply of juice boxes and crackers, and made sure there was a stack of disposable diapers available.She did a cursory check of the first-aid kit and made a mental note to pick up a box of Band-Aids before next week.
Once everything was in place, she sat in one of the three rockers to await her first arrival.She wasn’t taking somebody’s place this morning, praise Jesus, it was just her turn on the schedule.As she rocked, her head rested against the back of the chair.
Would she see Sean today?If she did, how should she act?Should she pretend like last night hadn’t happened?Should she apologize for something she’d secretly longed for but hadn’t initiated?Great questions with no good answers.
“Monica?”
Her eyes snapped open.
Pastor Alex stood in the doorway holding Jace.
“Did I wake you?”
“No, I was just trying to...”Monica coughed to cover the break in her words.“Work something out in my head.”How would the woman react if she knew that the thing that needed to be worked out was her son?She crossed the room, her arms outstretched.“Hey, Jace.Do you want to come to Monica?”
The baby grinned and tilted into her arms.
Monica cuddled him close and spoke to her pastor’s wife.“How did you get stuck with baby duty this morning?”
