Page 46 of Sean
It was the last moment with Sean that she was likely to have.
“Monica, did I lose you?”
Whoops.She tuned back into the conversation.“They had a photographer there that night, taking pictures.It got me thinking about you.”She forced a smile into her voice as she cleared the emotion from her throat.“The rest is history.”
“Perfect.Hey, I hate to run but I’ve gotta go.Mom and I are going Christmas shopping.”
“Tell Syd I said hi.”
“Will do.Let’s have lunch sometime soon.”
“All you gotta do is call.”The call ended and Monica put the phone down, turned back to her computer, and closed her fundraising spreadsheet.
Something unfinished tugged at the back of her mind.She knew from experience that if she chased the thought, it would run.
Besides, the conversation with Ginny had soured her day.She brushed at the unexpected tear that ran down her cheek.Was she crying for herself or Sean?
Both, she decided.Losing his friendship hurt, but despite the pain, she still felt sorry for him.How sad it must be to feel so wrapped up in grief that every word and action was sifted through that filter.She shouldn’t have called him a jerk.She could see how Sean had misinterpreted Jace’s “Ma.”Who knows?Maybe on some subconscious level she loved that baby so much that she wanted to be his mama.
She rested her head in her hands, glad that clients rarely came to her office.Sean’s conclusion-jumping was a blessing really, maybe even an answer to her prayer for direction.With their friendship a thing of the past, she could concentrate on getting the job in Arizona and the event that could solidify her future.
“Monica, what’s wrong?”
Monica looked up as Bobbie hurried into the room and closed the door behind her.She stooped down next to Monica, pulling a tissue free from the box on the shelf behind the desk.She pressed it into Monica’s hand.
Monica drew in a shaky breath and mopped her face, then the desk where her tears had fallen.“I’m fine.”
“‘Fine’ doesn’t cry at their desk in the middle of the day.What gives?”
“Just stuff.No big deal.”
Bobbie stared till Monica squirmed in her seat.There was so much she hadn’t told her best friend.Not about the kiss on Saturday, not about the fight on Sunday.Not even about the job opportunity in Arizona.
She definitely hadn’t told her about the way her heart was breaking.Maybe a conversation would sort it all out, but the office wasn’t the place for that.She reached out, comforted when Bobbie took her hand.“You’re right.I do need to talk.Can we have lunch on Saturday?I’ve got some things that I need...”She snatched a second tissue and blew her nose.“I’ve got some things that I need to tell you.”
***
SEAN CARRIED A SLEEPINGJace into the house on Thursday afternoon.His son had fallen asleep on the short ride between daycare and the house.The playtime had been good for Jace, but he was worn out.Tired as he was, Jace wouldn’t sleep long since he hadn’t eaten.It was well past lunchtime for both of them, and Sean figured he had just enough quiet time to get his purchases in the house before the baby woke up demanding to be fed.
He laid Jace in the crib, waiting only long enough to see if he would stir.Once Sean was sure he was sleeping soundly, he pulled the door closed and returned to the car.He was excited about the gifts he’d chosen.It wasn’t like Jace was old enough to see the toys and know they were for him, but Sean had to admit, now that the shopping was done, he was looking forward to seeing the look on his son’s face when he opened them.
Sean put everything on Mom’s bed and went to the kitchen to satisfy his own rumbling stomach.Mom had left a note on the table saying that there had been an emergency with one of their church members, but she didn’t expect to be gone long.
He felt the urge to pray for the unnamed church member but shoved it away.Settling for a whispered, “I hope it’s not serious,” he opened the refrigerator and perused the contents.He saw the remains of a rotisserie chicken, and his mouth watered.A chicken sandwich heavy on the mayo and salt and pepper sounded like the perfect lunch.
He was chewing the second bite when Jace’s cries carried from down the hall.He put the sandwich on a paper towel and went to get his son.“Hey, big guy.You ready for some bites?”He carried Jace into the kitchen, strapped him into the high chair, and did a repeat search of the refrigerator, smiling when he came across a container of leftover macaroni and cheese.
Before he could get the dish heated, Jace was in a full-blown meltdown.Hangry was a real thing with this kid.Sean stirred the macaroni and turned to look at his son.“I’m coming, I’m coming.Give me a second.”
The baby used a fist to rub at his sleepy eyes.The tears kept coming.
Sean had known Jace wouldn’t sleep long.He should have heated the macaroni before he made his own lunch.Every day it seemed like there was another part of parenting that he couldn’t get right.Did mothers ever feel this total sense of incompetence?It was moments like this when he longed for Brittany’s presence.At this point he’d even settle for Monica’s.
The timer on the microwave beeped and Sean tested the macaroni and decided it was safe.He held a spoonful out to his irritated son.The baby shoved his hand away and turned his head.“Ma.”
Sean sat back in his chair.It wasn’t just the wordjerkthat echoed in his head now.It was everything else Monica had said.
“He was saying Monica not Mama.”
