Page 24 of Things We Never Said
‘Perry?’
April nods.
‘Oh, no,’ Sean says. ‘No, I saw him at the funeral. Once a year’s enough.’
‘You’re right,’ April says. ‘I am lucky to be an only child.’
‘Anyway, the Patricks are a depressing bunch,’ Sean says. ‘Tell me about you.’
‘I’m a Patrick,’ April protests.
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I do. And I’m fine. All things considered, I’m OK.’
‘How are things with Ronan?’
‘Great,’ April says. ‘He’s working loads at the moment, which is why I’m off to Cardiff on my own. He couldn’t afford to take a break right now.’
‘That’s a shame.’
‘Well, you know how it is. He’s self-employed. He has to take the work when it comes. He’s doing a whole bunch of stuff for Pfizer at the moment.’
‘Brochures and what have you?’
April nods. ‘I’ve been helping a bit in my free time, too. Which is why I’m off to see Simon, to be honest. I don’t really want to spend my week’s holiday writing copy about antidepressants.’
‘No,’ Sean says. ‘I can understand that.’
‘What about you?’
‘Work?’
April shrugs. ‘Work, home, everything. How are you doing?’
‘I’m OK too,’ Sean says. ‘I have my ups and downs but I’m basically OK.’
‘Do you get lonely?’ April asks. ‘I think about you, you know, watching telly on your own, heating up your own meals and all that stuff. It must be really hard after all those years.’
‘Sometimes it is,’ Sean admits. ‘But I just feel sad when I feel sad and lonely when I’m lonely. And I tell myself it’s OK to feel fine some days, too. You can overanalyse this stuff.’
‘That sounds quite wise. I hope Mags and Dave and everyone are looking after you. Are they?’
Sean laughs. ‘Oh, they try. But to be honest, I’ve not been feeling that sociable. I tried to force myself a couple of times, but in the end I decided to let myself off the hook. I mean, I’m out at work all day. It’s not like I’m a hermit or anything. And if I don’t want to see anyone at the weekend then I reckon that’s up to me. Right?’
‘I suppose,’ April says. ‘As long as it doesn’t go on forever, I suppose that’s fine. But you’ll need to get up and out there at some point. You realise that, right?’
‘Hmm,’ Sean says, vaguely. He’d rather not even try to imagine what getting ‘up and out there’ implies. ‘Are you still seeing your counsellor guy?’
April laughs and sips her Coke before replying. ‘It’s a woman. Oh God, I haven’t told you about her, have I? She was a bit rubbish, to be honest.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah ... She told me all this really obvious stuff that everyone knows. You know, the different stages of grief. Denial, anger, all that stuff. And then she started banging on about crystals.’
‘Crystals?’
April wrinkles her nose cutely and nods. ‘Yeah. She said I needed to get myself some rose quartz. She said it was the most compassionate crystal of all.’
