Page 46 of Things We Never Said
You pointed out that you were living in Cambridge now, and Perry laughed and said, ‘Yeah, bro. You always did do everything the wrong way around.’
I cried when you were called up onto the stage for your degree certificate. Perry was banging on about how much nicer the ceremonies were at the Oxbridge universities, but I didn’t let it get to me. I was so proud of you, I didn’t care about anything. And I didn’t believe that anything anyone could say could possibly get to me that day. I was, as it turned out, wrong about that.
Your mother asked me how April was doing and who was looking after her (she was with Donna and Alistair again) and I thought, for a moment, that things might improve between us. I imagined that perhaps, having seen that I hadn’t stopped you studying and that I hadn’t stopped you getting a great job either, she might be ready, finally, to be friends. April had just started talking, so I told her excitedly about that and, again, she was enthusiastic. ‘They make so much progress at that age,’ she said.
So I suggested we come and visit them in Dorset with April. I thought that perhaps she was ready to start being a grandmother, finally.
‘Oh, Edward would never put up with a baby in the house,’ she said.
I pointed out that April was almost three.
‘The worst age,’ your mum said.
‘Oh well, I just thought it would be nice for you – for all of us,’ I told her.
‘It wouldn’t,’ she said. And then she added, ‘You know, I haven’t changed my mind about you. I know exactly what you are.’
Now, these were the exact words she had used on our wedding day, Sean, and I’d often thought about that and I’d often wished I had confronted her about what she meant. I suppose I’d grown up a bit in the meantime, too. I didn’t feel so scared of her anymore. So this time, I asked, ‘So? What am I? Tell me.’
‘You’re a hypergamous little slattern,’ she said.
Because I had no idea what either of those words meant – though I could tell that ‘slattern’ didn’t sound nice – I got her to repeat herself twice.
That amused her, I think – the fact that she could add ‘ignorant’ to her list of adjectives. It made her smile, anyway. It made her smile for the first time that day.
I didn’t go to the meal with you all afterwards. I didn’t tell you why because I didn’t want to ruin your lovely day, so I made my excuses and went back to look after April at Alistair’s.
When I got to the house, I asked Alistair what a ‘hypergamous slattern’ was, but he didn’t know either, so we borrowed Donna’s dictionary and looked the words up. And then Alistair held me while I cried.
While we were waiting for you to come back from your meal, I went to the phone box and called Mum and told her what Cynthia had said. I had to explain what ‘hypergamous’ meant to her as well, though she knew what a slattern was.
Mum said, ‘Oh, don’t listen to her, love. She’s a stupid old hag who wouldn’t know true love if it came up and slapped her across her ugly, sagging chops.’ She said that you were lucky to have met someone nice like me, too. She told me that if you hadn’t met me you might have ended up with a horrible old witch like your mother. She cheered me up so much that by the time you got home, I was fine.
You were fuming with both of them and happy to have escaped, so that sort of reinforced the deal for me. It enabled me, I think, to convince myself that Mum was right. I wonder. Who would you have married if you hadn’t married me?
On Tuesday evening, Sean is driving home from work when April calls him on his mobile. He clicks a button on the steering wheel and her voice springs from the car speakers.
‘Hi Dad,’ she says. ‘It’s me.’
‘Hello you,’ Sean replies. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Fine. I’m sorry, I meant to call yesterday, but I got a puncture on the way home and had to get a tow truck to come out and change the wheel.’
‘You don’t know how to change a wheel?’ Sean asks.
‘No. Of course I don’t.’
‘Well, you should. It’s important. I’ll show you the next time you come up.’
‘Um, thanks Dad, but you’re all right,’ April says, laughter in her voice.
Whatever happened to feminism?Sean wonders, deciding that hewillteach his daughter how to change a wheel the next time he sees her.
‘Anyway, I was too tired by the time I got home,’ April continues. ‘Plus, I had a bit of a ding-dong with Ronan.’
‘Nothing bad I hope?’ Sean asks, glancing over his shoulder and then indicating to change lanes.
‘Are you in the car?’ April asks. ‘You sound strange.’
