Page 92 of Things We Never Said
‘Did April’s ma go through the whole pizza thing?’ Ronan asks.
There follows a momentary pause; a stolen, awkward glance from April to her partner, and an involuntary wince, just visible around Ronan’s eyes, before Sean says, ‘It’s fine, Ronan, really. And no, not really. She ate quite a few bacon sandwiches. So maybe that was her craving. Oh, and cheese. Lots of cheddar cheese.’
April raises her palms to the ceiling. ‘Cheeeese,’ she says, exaggeratedly. ‘Cheese? Pizza? Any connection there? I rest my case.’
‘So, on names,’ Ronan says, clearly trying to change the subject. ‘April says you don’t like Giles. So we were thinking about—’
‘Hang on,’ April interrupts. ‘I’m the one who doesn’t like Giles. It’s a wanker, banker sort of name, that’s all.’
‘Is it?’ Ronan asks.
‘It’s quite posh,’ Sean comments, ‘but I quite like it actually. Giles. Yes, I had a friend at school called Giles. Giles Anderton. Hewasquite posh. But very nice.’
‘He’snotbeing called Giles,’ April says, rolling her eyes. ‘No, we’re almost settled on Jack, actually.’
Sean purses his lips and nods thoughtfully. ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘Jack’s a good name.’
‘It’s nice, isn’t it? Sort of unpretentious?’
‘Jack Nicholson,’ Sean says. ‘Jack Dempsey. Jack the Ripper ...’
‘Ooh, they’re all pretty butch, aren’t they?’ April says, doubtfully.
‘Especially Jack the Ripper,’ Ronan says, laughing. ‘He was as butch as butch can be.’
‘Jack Twist,’ Sean offers.
‘Who’s Jack Twist?’
‘He was one of the gay guys in whatsit Mountain, wasn’t he? InBrokeback...’
‘Ah, all right,’ April says. ‘Well, as long as my son has the possibility to explore his feminine side, too, then that’s OK.’
‘You boys sure found a way to explore your feminine sides up there on Brokeback Mountain,’ Ronan says, mockingly.
‘And there’s always Jack Kerouac,’ April offers, ignoring him.
‘And Jack Dee.’
‘So, Jack Patrick?’ Sean asks. ‘Or will it be Jack Connolly?’
‘We haven’t decided yet,’ April says. ‘It might end up being Connolly-Patrick. Or Patrick-Connolly. Would you mind?’
Sean shrugs. ‘Not at all,’ he says. ‘But no second name, then?’
‘Oh, don’t get us started on that,’ April says. ‘It’s taken us a month to settle on bloody Jack.’
Once the Deliveroo guy has been and gone, Ronan heads to the kitchen for more beer.
‘I’m not sure I want another one,’ Sean says, when he returns.
‘Just trust the process,’ Ronan instructs.
‘The thing is, I think I’ve decided, really,’ Sean tells him. ‘So, I’m not sure I need to spend the weekend with a hangover after all.’
‘Hangover, shlangover,’ Ronan says, pushing the bottle forcefully into Sean’s hand.
They eat in the lounge, the three pizza boxes open on the coffee table.
