Page 58 of Things We Never Said
‘Really? Which ones weren’t?’
Sean shrugs. ‘Ian was pretty lovely. We were all in love with Ian.’
Maggie laughs genuinely. ‘Yes, and look what happened there!’
‘Yes. I suppose.’
‘Look, I don’t know,’ Maggie says, another chunk of cake hovering in front of her mouth. ‘But it’s always felt a bit like destiny to me.’
‘Destiny?’
‘You don’t believe in destiny, I take it?’
Sean shakes his head.
‘You don’t think it was your personal destiny to meet Catherine in Dreamworld that day, all those years ago?’
‘In Dreamland? I don’t know,’ Sean says. ‘Perhaps if it hadn’t been Catherine, it would have just been someone else.’
‘Sorry, but I can’t even imagine that.’
‘No. Nor can I, to tell the truth,’ Sean admits.
‘I often think that there’s just one person on the whole planet for you,’ Maggie says, ‘but sometimes your paths never cross. Or they cross and you’re busy looking the wrong way or at your phone, or whatever. Or they cross at the wrong time in your lives when one of you isn’t ready.’
‘Again, I don’t believe that,’ Sean says. ‘It’s just not ... I don’t know. It’s not scientific, I suppose.’
‘Maybe not,’ Maggie says. ‘But I’ll tell you this much. Dating in your fifties feels like licking out someone else’s dog bowl. It feels like all of the decent food has been eaten and you’re left with the mangled leftovers that no one wanted, the bits that even the dog couldn’t digest.’
Sean’s brow furrows. Maggie is, he decides, sounding a little fragile today, if not quite mad. And the tone of the conversation is definitely darkening. In an attempt at changing direction he says, ‘Anyway, here’s a shocker for you. Here’s a little snippet from my perfect relationship with Catherine. She thought we had an affair.’
Maggie frowns at Sean uncomprehendingly. ‘What? Who did? Who had an affair?’
Sean gestures at the space between them. ‘You and me, apparently.’
Maggie’s mouth drops. ‘What?’ she says.
Sean nods. ‘It was on the tapes. She thought we had a thing together. And she thought it all ended when you met that French bloke.’
‘Really? But why? I mean, that’s madness. Based on what?’
‘The fact that we were– are – close, I suppose. The fact that I was stressed and distant, which was actually a work thing, as it happens, but Cathy didn’t know that.’
‘The Marble Drama?’
‘Ha! You remember. Yes, that’s the one. And to explain it all, to explain the fact that I was being weird and distant and stuff, she invented an affair. Plus we were rowing together at the time, of course.’
‘You see ... rowing ...’ Maggie says, with meaning. ‘It makes people very suspicious! But that’s really ... I don’t know ...’ She stares into the middle distance for a while, then adds, ‘It’s a bit icky, really. It’s tawdry.’
‘Yes,’ Sean says. ‘It’s not very nice, is it?’
‘She was a bit sulky for a while,’ Maggie says, evidently trawling back through her memories. ‘But never a clue that she thought anything like that. She never said a word.’
‘No.’
‘How long?’
‘How long did she think we were together?’ Sean asks. ‘A couple of months, I think.’
