Page 93 of Things We Never Said
‘Oh, God, I’d forgotten how good these are,’ April says, tipping back her head and lowering a slice of her Romana Padana into her mouth.
‘So, you’ve decided, you say?’ Ronan says. ‘That sounds positive.’
‘I think so,’ Sean replies, between mouthfuls. ‘Gosh, these are good, aren’t they? Yes, I’ve tried to be logical about it all. I even wrote out a list of pros and cons.’
‘That’s good. That’s my kind of thinking,’ Ronan says.
‘And?’ April asks. She rubs her belly and adds, ‘Umm ... see, happy baby! Baby like pizza. He says it’smolto bene. What are your pros and cons then, Dad?’
‘Well, the apartment is perfect,’ Sean tells them.
‘Right ...’
‘And I do have to move at some point. Because it’s crazy staying in such a big house.’
‘That makes sense, too,’ Ronan says.
‘And I hate gardening. That really was your mother’s thing.’
‘Yes, I noticed that it wasn’t looking its best,’ April says.
Sean takes a deep breath, and then, speaking more rapidly than usual, says, ‘But I don’t think I’m ready. That’s the main thing I’ve realised.’
April’s mouth falls open. Because it’s full of pizza, she quickly hides behind her hand. ‘Oh!’ she says, swallowing and then licking her teeth.
‘I might be ready soon. Perhaps even in a few months. But I’m not quite ready now, I don’t think.’
‘Not ready,’ Ronan repeats, sounding unconvinced.
‘No. So that’s where I’m at.’
‘But the place you’ve seen might be gone in a couple of months,’ Ronan points out, concernedly.
‘That’s true. It almost certainly will be gone. Especially at the price they’re asking.’
‘So, what would it take for you to be ready?’ Ronan asks.
Sean shrugs. ‘I don’t know. Time, perhaps?’
‘Don’t push him, Ro,’ April says.
‘I’m just saying that there might be a way for Sean to feel ready. If he wants to.’
‘I said don’t push him, sweetie,’ April says. Then, addressing Sean, she continues. ‘I think you should wait until you’re good and ready, Dad. And I know that’s what Mum would have said, too.’
Ronan clears his throat. ‘Can I?’ he asks.
‘Can you what?’ April asks, shortly.
‘Can I say something without you biting my head off?’
‘Of course you can, Ronan,’ Sean says. ‘Say anything you want.’
April sighs. ‘Just don’t try to—’
‘No, let him speak,’ Sean insists. ‘It’s fine.’
Ronan puts his half-eaten slice of pizza down and presses his fingertips together. ‘So, at the risk of being called MrSpock,’ he says.
