Page 15 of Where Do We Go From Here?
‘Beg pardon?’ I said.
‘Todd. He says?—’
‘No, I… I heard you,’ I explained. ‘But?—’
‘And Fiona’s not that keen either.’
‘She’s notkeen?’
‘No. Not now we’re in tier 4 and everything.’
‘But she lives here. Where would she go?’
Harry shrugged. ‘I… um…’ he stumbled.
‘We’re all fully vaccinated, anyway,’ I said. ‘So I don’t see…’
‘But it’s not just that,’ Harry said.
‘It isn’t just what?’
‘This hasn’t… um… really been… Well… working, has it?’ he stammered. ‘It hasn’t been working for any of us, really. Not for a while, if we’re being honest.’
‘I…’ I shook my head. ‘What hasn’t been working?’
‘Well, you… you know… being at home. Us all being cooped up together.’
‘Are you…?’ I asked, frowning and cocking my head. ‘You’re not…? Are you asking me to move out, Haz?’
‘Not definitively,’ he said. ‘Not forever or anything. Just for a bit. I thought maybe if Jill’s place is still?—’
‘But I’ll hardly be here anyway. I’ve just told you. I’m working every day.’
‘Well, exactly,’ Harry said, signalling with one hand to keep the noise down. ‘That’s why we thought it probably isn’t worth the risk.’
‘But it’s Christmas,’ I said, tears welling up. ‘And what doyou mean, it hasn’t really been working?’ His words had only just hit me.
‘Well, we feel?—’
‘Can you stop with the whole “we” thing?’ I interrupted. ‘It’s really weaselly trying to hide behind the kids that way. Just own whatever you have to say, Harry.’
‘OK. ThenIthink we need a break,’ he said. ‘I need some time to myself. And I think you might want to think about seeing someone if there’s any chance of making this work.’
I blinked at him. I was flabbergasted.
‘You’ve been stressed for… well, for ages, actually,’ he continued.
‘Me?’ I exclaimed, doing my best to not explode. ‘Have you any idea what you’ve been like?’
‘I probably have as well,’ he admitted. ‘But we’ve been –I’vebeen – walking on eggshells since the pandemic started. So I think you maybe need to see someone to find a better way to deal with all your stress.’
‘A better way of dealing with my stress?’ I repeated.
‘Yes. Better than the way you do it now. And you know what I’m talking about, so don’t pretend you don’t.’
‘Only I don’t,’ I said.
‘Yes, you do,’ Harry said. ‘You come home and sit in front of the TV with your vat of wine and hope no one speaks to you. And that’s not how a family is supposed to work.’
